The sages speek

[Jens]

Thought I'd share one of those things you find out that make you feel a bit  .  Maybe others will join in with some of their knowledge.

splitting wood with one hand, while holding a hot cup of tea and a lit cigarette in the other, is not an effective way of procuring fuel.  I wasn't expecting too much, but ended up with even less!

What  moments do you all have to share?

[Jens]

To amend this entry, it does work better if you put the cigarette in your mouth, and the mug isn't full of tea, and the wood is a short bolt of dry pine.  With those prerequisites in order, it is possible, though still not efficient

[ScottA]

You could quit smoking and coffee is a much more effective motivator. Still got to split the wood though.

[diyfrank]

Drinking the coffee would really help. Holding the cup has no benefits.

[Jens]

Coffee!!!   I don't know how you guys can handle that fowl tasting stuff personally.  I have always loved the smell, as my mom drank about 3 pots a day when I was growing up, but no thanks.  I don't understand how this country ever thrived as coffee drinkers.  More empires have been founded by tea drinkers than coffee throughout history than coffee (let's count 'em...1). 

Eating pizza, or chili or something while driving a 9 ton bucket truck, with the first clutch ever invented, is actually surprisingly easy however.  Lighting the tobacco pipe with a match whilst driving that same truck?  A bit more difficult!

BTW, when throwing a bag of gasoline at a burn pile to get it going better when it is raining, make sure you hit the pile!  This is one I watched my friend stumble with.  He then tried getting the bag to roll the rest of the way by chucking rocks at it. 

In no way am I endorsing any of these things, or suggesting their practice, BTW, but we all do stupid stuff!

[MountainDon]

Two good ways to start a burn pile going without loosing your eyebrows...

1. Pour the gas on the main part of the pile to be burned. From that point dribble kerosene over a distance of maybe 6 to 10 feet. Light the kerosene. It burns slower, spreads slower than gasoline.

2. Pour gasoline on a section of the pile. Step back a safe distance. Fire a tracer bullet at the gasoline soaked area. It's never taken more than one shot.


I love both coffee and tea; both sans milk, cream or sweetener. Maybe lemon juice in tea once in a while, or rum in coffee. 


One handed wood splitting is not a good idea; unless you're using a hydraulic splitter. IMO.

[Redoverfarm]

Although burning brush can be hazzardous with the thought of it escaping into the adjoining area.  A tip is to pile the brush into a trench silo and saturate it with gas.  The tricky portion is to allow sufficent time for the fumes to disapate completely.  They generally will not as the trench silo contains the fumes at the bottom for a massive explosion.  Ask the guy who picked himself up some 30 feet away and spent the next hour stomping out the small fires in the surrounding area.   Deisel fuel would have been a better alternative.      Nope you're wrong it wasn't me but I was close by.

There is more than one reason they threw the tea in the water at Boston.   

[glenn kangiser]

I can drink coffee cold or hot - don't usually care for the taste - just want the caffeine.

[Dog]

That's right! We're coming into the brush burning season! I don't usually smoke, but pouring gasoline on the pile, standing back, smoke a cigarette and from a safe distance flick the butt into the pile and wooom!
Dropping a lit match on top of that isn't a good idea. I did learn that one the hard way. 

Red Bull is a very good energizer. 

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Wisdom learned the hard way:
Be sure you've backed up enough to clear the path of the hatch on the back of the truck... few weeks ago my mom gave herself a concussion trying to shut the hatch on the back of my Durango.  She's short and had to jump to reach it, and then she pulled it down--HARD-- with the metal edge of the door hitting her on the crown of the head.  She just about went down.  It wasn't funny, but at the same time I kept thinking, how could you not see that coming? !  She hurt for a couple of days from it.

[Ernest T. Bass]

I actually remember doing that when I was younger, now that you mention it..

As far as burning goes, my dad once poured gasoline on a bunch of garbage in the burn barrel, then remembered a bunch more stuff to add to it... Packed everything down real tight and lit the cannon.. Even with a heavy metal grate over the top weighted down with rocks, it still sent flaming chunks of cardboard nearly 20 ft. in the air. Our neighbors were over, too...

[glenn kangiser]

I don't like gasoline on fires - I like propane weed burners - and I even start the barbecue with it.

But if we are talking about dumb stuff... don't light your own uhh hhmmmm..... wind. 

I nearly caught my pants on fire once.  It was in the flower child days and those hounds tooth pants with the little dingle balls that would build up on the fabric.  Those suckers are flammable.... 

The secondary fire nearly did not want to go out....  I was slapping and patting and was about ready to start rolling but finally it was out and things cooled off......

[MountainDon]

Tossing gasoline on a fire results in a large orange red fireball with wisps of black smoke... 



Using depleted throw away propane bottles for firearm target practice does not usually result in fireball explosions.

[considerations]

A little diesel and one road flare gets the damp debris piles lit and keeps them lit until the dried wood can take over. 

Plus it forces me to rotate the flares out of my "OMG" road kit and keep fresh flares packed and ready for emergencies.

Gasoline just burns off and leaves steaming wet wood.  Life in the rainforest...

[Jens]

   I can just see you jumping around with your butt on fire Glenn!  Better the hippie pants than the spandex, that'd just melt to your bum!

When you have a burn pile going, take a large cardboard box, with both ends open and put it on top of the burn.  It makes a chimney that ends up shooting flames up in the air!

My wife makes fun of me when I start barbecues, or the woodstove with the mapp torch.  I call it efficient

[Sassy]

HG, I hit my head on the hatch latch about a month ago - it was dark, I was unloading the SUV, thought I had the hatch all the way up, stood & slammed my head into the metal latch - about had me seeing stars - hurt for a long time, too 

[Sassy]

My brother put a wad of gasoline soaked paper into his woodstove the other day - doesn't need to trim his eyebrows or mustache for awhile after the big fireball shot out of the door    - he said there wasn't any damage to the house but it smelled bad for awhile... 

[rwanders]

I actually remember doing that when I was younger, now that you mention it..

As far as burning goes, my dad once poured gasoline on a bunch of garbage in the burn barrel, then remembered a bunch more stuff to add to it... Packed everything down real tight and lit the cannon.. Even with a heavy metal grate over the top weighted down with rocks, it still sent flaming chunks of cardboard nearly 20 ft. in the air. Our neighbors were over, too...

I did the same thing with a bunch of wadded up newspaper in a 55 gal drum after painting our house----spectacular column burning newsprint all over the block!

[peternap]

Speaking of lighting gas soaked brushpiles with flares. Did you know flare guns shoot high, very high...sometimes high enough to miss the pile and set the field past it on fire

[rwanders]

   We who play with fire always seem to get burnt sooner or later---usually sooner!  Interesting how similar our experiences have been.

[Windpower]

Bi-fold hanger doors are great




but not if you park the van too close before you open the door