Mysterious Cramps?

[glenn kangiser]

WARNING:  You may not want to continue reading past this point.  If you do - remember that I warned you here....







Finally a report comes out to confirm what a friend who worked soda machine service told me years ago.

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2010/01/08/2010-01-08_soda_fountain_machines_harbor_fecal_bacteria_study_finds.html

Sometimes blessed with the need to fly to the head as fast as my legs can carry me whilst undoing my belt and and nearly tripping over my falling pants, this article confirms that those fizzing hissing little serve yourself soda fountains can do a job on you.  It may hit you in 30 minutes or less with your insides just wanting to find a way out.

I find the report of near 50% contaminated and 20% above the legal limits to be about the true average of my near accidents.  

If.......some construction worker on a backhoe drives by you, slams on the brakes, rushes into the porta-john before you get there and locks the door it can really mess up your day.

I suggest in this case, that you carry a very sharp knife, possibly with a serrated edge like an EMT does, to cut off the offending undergarment, as you will never get it off cleanly over your construction worker boots. [ouch]

[ScottA]

You sure it's the soda and not the frito pie you had for lunch?

[glenn kangiser]

The other day I had a canned Arizona Ice Tea so I know it was the food from the garbage truck and not the drink.

I have done a very scientific study on the fountains, and have without a doubt, proven that about 20% of them are capable of pressurizing me beyond holding capacity. 

[Whitlock]

What is crazy is that he knows he is going to have the trots if he drinks from a soda fountain and he does it anyway

Where are you Stinky he has set himself up on this one

[glenn kangiser]

I have never said I was sane....

It's like this, W.... not all of them get me.... I give them one chance then if they do it, likely I will not eat there anymore.

According to Doug, it is from them not cleaning the machine properly.  

That brings up an interesting point... my rule for deciding if I will eat at a place - or if I do that they will give me the runs.... Look at their bathroom.  If it is dirty and smelly and they do not clean it , then likely they do not clean the soda machine or the kitchen either.  Most places with spotless bathrooms do not have dirty soda machines.  [ouch]

My logic is that cleaning the crapper is the most repulsive job in the place so if it is done then likely the less repulsive jobs are done also. [idea]

[fishing_guy]

What is crazy is that he knows he is going to have the trots if he drinks from a soda fountain and he does it anyway

Where are you Stinky he has set himself up on this one

But Whitlock...

Glen has an 80% chance of not getting pressurized.  He's just going with the odds....

[Whitlock]

What is crazy is that he knows he is going to have the trots if he drinks from a soda fountain and he does it anyway

Where are you Stinky he has set himself up on this one

But Whitlock...

Glen has an 80% chance of not getting pressurized.  He's just going with the odds....

I have been with him when this happens. I think it is more like 50% and a 100% in Mariposa Co.
It is pretty funny watching him run around holding his butt cheeks together
Or raceing down the road looking for a bathroom knowing it will get ineresting if a cop pulls us over

So Glenn for your own good stop drink from the fountains

[Redoverfarm]

Bottled water has never had that effect on me. 

[MountainDon]

If this happens with great frequency perhaps there is some other underlying cause?  Diet in general or food allergies or even medical reasons. Have you had a colonoscopy recently? I know that's getting personal, but you are old enough that if you've not you might want to think about it.

We pretty much stay away from fountain drinks, because we don't like those type of drinks. Now there's another reason to avoid soda fountains. Of course we also pretty much avoid most fast food places of all kinds. I will admit though that there are a couple small mom and pop places around here that make superb breakfast burritos and every so often we might have one.


I am serious about the colon health though. As someone who is coming up on their 20 anniversary as a colitis survivor, increasing the amount of fiber in my diet has helped immensely. And every year I see the GI doc as it can and does lead to colon cancer. If I have grossed out anyone I do apologize.

[StinkerBell]

What is crazy is that he knows he is going to have the trots if he drinks from a soda fountain and he does it anyway

Where are you Stinky he has set himself up on this one

Personally I have not had a soda or any carbonated beverage since 2005

[glenn kangiser]

Don, I have this special bacteria in my gut that can make gas from anything.  Mix that with one of those dirty machines and we have a ticking time bomb. 

When I was a baby they kept pinning things on me.

When I was about two and my grandma was washing out my diaper in the toilet, I walked in , took a look and said, "Are you having fun, Grandma?"

I had one doc look up where the sun doesn't shine years ago, drank some water from a bears paw print in the mountains, and got a bug, but they messed up the associated lab report and asked me to please come in an do it again a week later.....      [bite]

With all the screw ups with improper disinfection of the tools, aids spreading because of that, bowel perforations, etc, I think I will just take my chances.

[muldoon]

beer or water thanks but no thanks on sodas. 

[NM_Shooter]

I'd bet any fecal coliforms on a soda machine comes from flies. 

I think I am done with soda machine drinks...

[glenn kangiser]

I was told about the problem many years ago and contrary to the article, Doug worked for a company that was aware of the problem.  Whitlocks sister manages a chain and told him the same thing independent of my scientific testing.

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

When I was a kid, one of my aunts worked part time at a Hardees.  She didn't know of problems with the soda fountains, but her telling me about the cockroaches in the ice machines was enough to turn me off of fast food forever.  Well, except Chick-fil-A, and I still love them.

[glenn kangiser]

I had a bottled Frappuchino or whatever the heck they call it today at the fishmarket lunch (deep fried breaded squid tempura) and noted that I did not get the loose feeling stomach like I do when I drink from their soda fountain. 

I am having a hard time eating a McDonald's burger after learning that the bone taste in the burgers is actually that -  the mechanically  separated bone meat paste.... I have to quit these food threads or I will get healthy and skinny.  Couldn't have that, eh, Homey?

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Hmmm... what else can we say to turn Glenn off of junk food?     I don't care whether you're skinny or not, Glenn, but would like it if you stay healthy so you're around for a good long while for me and Stinky to pick on.

[StinkerBell]

I agree!

[glenn kangiser]

Awww shucks... you gals are the greatest..... [ouch]

[StinkerBell]

I guess it could be said glenn that you're mine and hgt boy toy.

[glenn kangiser]

Please don't hurt me...

[RainDog]

I guess it could be said glenn that you're mine and hgt boy toy.

 Speakin' of boy toys, here's some eye-candy for the females in the forum.

 http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/sex-and-other-releases/201001/americas-first-legal-male-prostitute

 Makes ya wish you lived in Nevada, huh?  Could rent your very own performing sex monkey.

 Humans never cease to shock and awe me.

 PS: Sorry about the hijack.

[StinkerBell]

ew

[RainDog]

 My wife: "C'mon, that would be a great job for a guy!"

Me: "no"

[glenn kangiser]

I'll bet he wishes he looked like me......