Author Topic: Never argue with a woman.  (Read 8290 times)

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StinkerBell

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Never argue with a woman.
« on: June 06, 2006, 12:07:25 PM »
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven’t even touched you," says the game warden.

"That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma’am," he said and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.


glenn-k

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2006, 09:30:17 PM »
Some women are just too quick, Stinkerbell.

I hope I never make that mistake. :-/ ;D


bil2054

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2006, 04:18:39 PM »
Good story, StinkerBell.
The only thing that saves me from that kinda mistake was surviving a childhood of  about 6:1 girls against boys.
It teaches one the finer points of what valor REALLY is. [smiley=wink.gif]

StinkerBell

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2006, 04:58:24 PM »
For clarity I did not write this story. Found it on the internet. Just thought it was so funny I had to share it.

benevolance

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2006, 10:47:28 PM »
I would  caLL for backup... come back arrest her...with a witness.

I hate it when people pull the race/sex card...It is a huge problem... It negates all the good work that  people have dedicated their lives for these noble causes.

Heck if I had a gun I just might shoot her....

I know this is a joke...But I worked in a call centre with 1800 people...If you saw how the sex and race card was used it would make you want to puke



glenn-k

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2006, 05:20:20 AM »
Easy, Peter --- The joke was cute --- it's reality that sucks --- we have to learn to differentiate and to be able to laugh at ourselves.  I laugh at my self all the time--- with good reason  --- also cuss myself out when I do something stupid -- you should hear it-- sounds like I'm talking to someone else --and I don't talk to others that bad -- OK ---once every couple of  years or so but they really have to be a real jerk and really make me mad.

I see Stinkerbell's joke as being an affront to public officials who don't have any common sense because they are on a power trip - not enough brains to see that she wasn't fishing as they many times sit with binoculars and watch from shore- many are idiots with badges.  Many times they make up excuses to exercise their power over you.  The woman part is not the problem -the idiot public official with an overblown ego is.  

I once had a CHP strutting around my truck telling me how he could write me a ticket for having too many bugs on my windshield.  I just Yes Sir'ed him to his face as much as he wanted and he went away happy with his ego reinforced.  It didn't matter to me -- I got away without a ticket and in my mind had continued all the Yes Sirs with --you stupid pompous piece of crap.  (Actually much worse -- I cleaned it up for the forum)  --- I continued my tirade to the out of control public servant long after he left.  Built up my ego--- I was on a power trip --- cussing the idiot out and he didn't have the power to stop me.  Boy, did that feel good. ;D
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 05:23:48 AM by glenn-k »

bil2054

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2006, 08:30:43 AM »
I enjoyed the joke immensely though I, too, have a jaundiced view of the automatic assumption of discrimination on the part of some social groups.

The joke reminded me of an occaision when my parents and I were fishing in a remote area of Maine near the Canadian border.  It took about an hour of hiking from a logging road to get in to the stream, but the trout made it well worth the effort.  We had been fishing for about an hour when a warden showed up to check our licenses!
Another time a girlfriend and I were at a (then) out of the way beach in the Florida Keys, near the naval airstation.  My friend decided to even out her tan a little, and I certainly had no objection.  Less than an hour later a stereotypical, Jackie Gleason style deputy came driving down the dirt road to tell my friend that being topless was aginst the law, and if she didn't cover up immediately he would arrest her.  As soon as she put her bikini top back on, he turned around and drove away.  He must have had nothing better to do than watch the access road, and hope there was something he could harass us about when we turned down it. (Maybe my VW bus had something to do with it, though.[smiley=smiley.gif])

Amanda_931

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2006, 02:03:14 PM »
Some of the many reasons I don't much care for cops.

And it may be a "have to walk a mile in their shoes" routine before we diss someone for pulling the race/sexism card.  I wish it weren't still real.  Even though sometimes it really is the first thing we start thinking when someone gets mad at us--can't be us, we're so nice, must be because we're....

Here's a nice joke I first heard in the 50's.

Nice Jewish boy is looking for a job.  He has a pretty noticeable stutter when he gets stressed.  For some unknown reason he wants to be a disc jockey.  Applies everywhere, makes his tapes, goes to interviews, never gets hired.

One day a friend asks why he thinks he's having no luck at all finding a job.  Could it be his speech impediment?

NO!, insists our hero, it's because I'm J-J-J-ew-ishhhhhhhh!
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 02:14:08 PM by Amanda_931 »

glenn-k

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2006, 03:56:13 PM »
Billy Bob, I bet she was making the Deputy jealous. Obviously he only liked to see topless guys. :-/
« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 04:00:51 PM by glenn-k »


benevolance

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2006, 04:10:02 PM »
Glenn

I bet the best course of action would have been to ask the deputy if his problem was based on homosexuality...

I am guessing it would have gone splended!

glenn-k

  • Guest
Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2006, 04:37:02 PM »
I have always reserved my remarks for after the Public Servant has left the scene -- seems things go better that way. :-/ :)

Seems I respect them not for who they are or what they represent, but for what they can do or can have done to me and the hassles I have to deal with if I am unfortunate enough to get sucked into their part of the system.

Possibly I have a bad attitude from dealing with them while trucking.  The above is my general view.

In reality I get along well with the good ones and have had some even help me without pulling a power trip.  One held a flashlight while I fixed my lights, then let me go without a ticket.  Some pull the power trip then drop it and turn out to be OK.  

I guess we have to take each one on his own merits, giving him or her the benefit of the doubt first.  That is what seems to work best.

« Last Edit: July 08, 2006, 05:31:58 PM by glenn-k »

benevolance

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2006, 10:32:49 PM »
Glenn

In my personal opinion the best way to deal with a cop or a building inspector is to stay the hell out of their radar....

If they do not know you exist.... they cannot make your life miserable... pull a power trip... Etc...

Just what I try to do at all costs....

glenn-k

  • Guest
Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2006, 05:08:34 AM »
Hence my trip planning which includes only roads that do not have truck scales or inspection facilities even if I am totally legal.  I figure if I do not present myself for abuse, I will not be abused nearly as much.  It is said that not even a new truck can get through these places without the possibiliy of getting a ticket.  One stopped me the other day just because he didn't see the required ID numbers which were on the truck.

My experience from the past in trucking agrees with you -- stay out of the radar.

Anyone who drives without a radar detector is asking for trouble too-- just a slip up can net you a ticket that will raise your insurance.  The number one donater of radar guns to the police is the insurance company - I've heard especially Geico.  There is a reason for that - check your insurance rate after a radar ticket and for many years thereafter.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2006, 05:13:42 AM by glenn-k »

bil2054

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2006, 06:57:58 AM »
One technique I used to use for Motor Vehicle Department inspectors on safety inspections was to deliberately leave some minor defect for them to find.  If the inspector had a tendency to be officious, a burned out marker lamp would just make his day.  He could give you the business about that, and wouldn't look so hard for a more subjective kind of failure.  Usually they would sign off on an item like that, after receiving assurances that it would be corrected.  Much easier than having to return because "That parking brake doesn't seem quite right... adjust it and bring it back".
 [smiley=wink.gif]
I never drove over the road, Glenn, but a friend of mine swears he was cited because the sheets in his bunk weren't clean enough.  I suggested next time he leave a valve stem cap off. [smiley=smiley.gif]


glenn-k

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2006, 08:04:33 AM »
I was once cited for giving a student with a blown up engine in his car a ride then the cop who gave me the ticket told me he would have done the same thing.  As I remember, I didnt get a break where money was concerned though.  Unauthorized passenger -even though I owned the truck.

Another time I was going to be given a ticket for snow and ice putting me a bit overweight on an axle - I started to whine about --"That's all I need is another ticket" -- the cop felt sorry for me and let me readjust the load by hand.

Another time the scale official asked what I was hauling - I said onions - He said you are one bag overweight -- Being stupid I didn't catch on that he was hinting that he wanted a bag of onions- I told him I couldn't be - I weighed it each axel------ --- bring in  my papers, log books --documents --get a big ticket- pay it.

A sheriff acting like a drunk driver late at night- not identifying himself -- to get my son to try to get away then red lighting him after over the speed limit.  Wreckless driving -- hired an attorney friend -- he made the lying cop look like an idiot -- settled out of court DA- judge reduced to traffic school.  I had him investigated by internal affairs - they agreed -- fight it-

City cop moves the location of a ticket to my other son to make it look like he didn't signal on a public highway -- which wasn't a ticket offense anyway-- he was in an unposted parking lot where the cops can't legally patrol.  I accused him of perjury--- false statement on a legal document--  in a letter of discovery to the DA- the crooked cops dropped it before it went ot court.

A city cop getting a ticket for drunk driving on the sidewalk.

Two city cops on a false alarm --speeding in town - illegal u turn in the middle of the block-- t-boned by the other one.

City cop out in the country getting a bit in the back seat of his cruiser--  -- forgot that with the cage and no inside door handles he couldn't get out-- a farmer found them in the morning --

Then the one I related about his ability to write me for the bugs on the windshield.  He must have had a really small male member. :-/

These are just my experiences or near ones related to me-- this is a sampling -- there are more.  I'll bet other's have had similar.  I all of the sudden have the urge to go buy myself a big box of fresh donuts. ;D
« Last Edit: July 09, 2006, 09:11:44 AM by glenn-k »

benevolance

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #15 on: July 09, 2006, 09:37:08 PM »
Glenn

reminds me of my favorite COP JOKE

Officer to driver:
"Sir your  eyes are shiny, have you been drinking"

Driver to Officer:
" Officer your eyes look glazy, have you been eating doughnuts"

.....

I would not have thought the weight inspector would want some onions...I would never have thought to bribe the guy!

The thing with cops is that they are human beings....Just like the people at a large office...There are going to be lazy ones... the go getters... ones that falsify info to make themselves seem compitent...

Any employee flaw you can imagine and presto it exists in cops...

The one real problem I have with the justice system is that the court considers the police officer a Lord or officer of the court...So when it comes to fighting a ticket...Yeah you get your day in court....But one cop's testimeny out weighs 5 citizens...

The court fails to relaize that cops are regular flawed, lying, incompitent human beings....

glenn-k

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2006, 10:14:15 PM »
and that the revenue the cop brings in helps to pay the Judges salary.  Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

bil2054

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #17 on: July 10, 2006, 01:07:21 AM »
As a moonlighting wrecker driver I was several times asked to testify in investigations.  One time it was for the defense in a criminal case.  It is illegal in CT for law enforcment to sit outside a bar and wait for someone to hop in their car and go DUI;  not sure I understand why, but so it is.  Anyway, this one fellow claimed he had trailed the defendant and had probable cause to pull him over bacause he was speeding.  The defendant walked on that one because the distance from the bar parking lot to where I winched the vehicle onto the flatbed, a Maserati would have had trouble getting over the posted limit, much less a worn out Taurus.
I am not at all anti-cop... some of my best in laws are cops [smiley=smiley.gif], but I am against willful stupidity in any area of human endeavor.

glenn-k

  • Guest
Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #18 on: July 10, 2006, 04:32:07 AM »
I am not anti cop either -- just not the way they do it--

I have never got a response on time when a crime was being committed.  I chased the 2 pimps and a hooker with my Kenworth after they stole my bandsaw for 30 minutes -- caught them 2 times - cops on the cell phone told me to quit chasing them - never showed.  I chased down  with my Peterbilt and held a drunk driver for 20 minutes, who had sideswiped a Greyhound bus.  I chased her and her boyfriend - took her keys - Mexican Nationals - hit and run.  Cops finally showed up and mentioned it was 10 miles from where it happened--- duh.

Inspection station --- forget the seat belt? ---- revenue generation cops and tickets galore - they are standing on sidewalks now peering into front seats then hopping down off the sidewalk and chasing even going on the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic to get their revenue. Dang it Arnold, ---Loosen the donut budget before one of these guys kills somebody for a few extra bucks.  How about a little real crime fighting?

peg_688

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #19 on: July 10, 2006, 05:27:43 AM »
Quote
.....



The thing with cops is that they are human beings....Just like the people at a large office...There are going to be lazy ones... the go getters... ones that falsify info to make themselves seem compitent...

Any employee flaw you can imagine and presto it exists in cops...


  Sort of but the one things cops have is power of the system.
  
 [highlight]Power corrupts , absolute power corrupts absolutly .[/highlight]

 They are all on a power trip of sorts being people , given power, stupid stuff happens .

 As most of the cop related storey's have shown.


bil2054

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Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #20 on: July 10, 2006, 06:01:29 AM »
I think it likely that, as with most things, it is a small minority who give the group a bad image.  Problem is that that small group has disproportionate power, and makes the group look REALLY bad.
Keep up the good work Glenn, I think they were just P.O.ed because you showed 'em they weren't doing their job.
I was behind a real bad DUI once; nobody would take a chance on passing this guy.  Well, there used to be these signs all along the interstate about "We monitor CB channel..." etc.  Took a good 5-10 minutes to get some turkey to admit that they were actually monitoring.  Gotta admit, they took that drunken jerk off the road right  sharp, once they found out he was there. [smiley=angry.gif] [smiley=rolleyes.gif]  The whole parade went right past the local barracks while I was trying to raise someone on the radio.

Amanda_931

  • Guest
Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #21 on: July 10, 2006, 01:57:33 PM »
I keep being reminded that police are one of the three professions high on the list of spouse abusers.

(the other two have to be right right out of the box too--so not lawyers, they live in adversarial relationships with each other)
« Last Edit: July 10, 2006, 01:58:30 PM by Amanda_931 »

glenn-k

  • Guest
Re: Never argue with a woman.
« Reply #22 on: July 10, 2006, 09:55:53 PM »
Got to admit I stayed put in the seat a couple minutes until I found out if the drunk had a gun but it seems someone needs to step in sometimes.  I took a local farmer off the street at 8 AM - he came into the service station drunk when I was fueling - pushed another  car with his because it was in his way.  If the brake had not been set someone could have been killed -- the highway was about 40 feet ahead.  I took his keys and called the cops--listened to him cuss at me for a good 5 minutes or more.  I cussed him out right back.  

I was one of three 18 wheelers that boxed in a drunk on the freeway going to Texas once -- He took off through the dirt but it seemed to have sobered him up.  Just like in the movies --no joke. :-/

There are more-- scrappy little sucker aren't I?
« Last Edit: July 10, 2006, 10:00:06 PM by glenn-k »

 

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