More Albuquerque Public School fun and games.

[NM_Shooter]

Sorry, I have to vent.

Just got a call today from the V.P. at my daughter's middle school telling me my 12 year old has been suspended from school on Monday. 

Seems she and her best friend had an issue with a thug at school a couple of days ago.  He (hispanic) made fun of my daughter's friend, who is a very, very white kid.  Think Scandinavian but less opaque  .  He held up a sheet of white paper next to her face to compare the hue and made his buddies laugh and her cry.  This little girl was pretty upset and all three kids ended up in the office where they were asked to sign a behavior contract. 

This boy is frequently in trouble and is no stranger to the office.  All three kids signed a contract saying that there was not going to be any name calling.  I'm pissed, because this little white girl was told to sign the contract, and she had never called any names.  She is a really sweet, sort of timid kid.  My daughter has an attitude (gets that from her mom) and will sass back to kids that give her a ration.  But you know what?  She does not use foul language.  (Even in her sleep the other night she was upset and talking and said "darn it!  darn it!"  My wife and I were cracking up.)

So today, my daughter and her friend are in the lunch line waiting their turn.  This thug cuts in line right in front of my daughter.  Not to join one of his buddies, but just to be an ass.  Then he stops dead and does not move up, and smirks over his shoulder at my daughter, who is standing there pissed.  She moves to go around him, and he tells her "don't touch me you f'-ing b!tc#".  So she tells him "shut your mouth, retard".

The lunch lady (hispanic) claims she heard my daughter but not him.  Luckily other kids in line heard him.  So off to the principal's office they go.  Out comes the contract, and since both signed it both are now suspended.

I had a heated discussion with the vice principal a while ago that we are going to continue face to face on Monday. 

This school is horrible.  They refuse to reprimand or discipline the predators, and instead tell all the victims to "ignore it" or to "grow a thick skin"  (no kidding, actual words). 

We have already complained to the administration about this group of kids being a problem.  They were doing some nasty things to kids earlier... one of the boys was walking around class with his hand down his pants, asking 11 and 12 yr old girls if they like the "d" word.  There were other similarly disgusting things that I won't mention.  The teachers and the administrators just look the other way.

I have the resources to hire a lawyer, but I am not sure how to find the right one, nor how to use him to cause the school district maximum aggravation.   I think I am going to instruct my daughter to never sign anything at the school again without me being present.

Thanks for letting me spew.   

-f-

P.S.  Lest anyone think me racially motivated in any of this, keep in mind that my kids are coyotes.  (My wife is hispanic)

[peternap]

Rant on NM. I can't tell you anything you don't already know....but it helps to have a place to yell about it. Been there ...done that.

I used to have a very good grip I worked on it every day with a rock climbers grip exerciser and a rubber ball. Everyone has to have a hobby and shaking hands was mine.

I actually broke two hands. One was one of my daughters dates in high school and the other was my sons Vice principal A handshake can be a deadly thing

Everyone is a raciest. There are sickening racists like the KKK...and then there are just people like me who just get frustrated at a small slice of a certain race and say things they don't mean.

[peternap]

walking around class with his hand down his pants, asking 11 and 12 yr old girls if they like the "d" word.  There were other similarly disgusting things that I won't mention.  The teachers and the administrators just look the other way.



Now that is the result of a poor upbringing. His parents didn't impress the fact that GENTLEMEN don't do things like that. Even then, it will slip out once in a while.

My own case in point.
When I was about 8, I was looking at the Sears Catalog (For some reason) in class. I was looking at the mens suits. The Teacher, Ms. Bolton, a blue haired spinster who mostly talked about what Father had said...asked me if I liked the suits. I remarked that the models were F%$^ing Qu%^rs. Honestly, I had no idea what a F%$^ing Qu%^r was, but I had heard some of the seventh graders say it and if it was good enough for the big guys, it was good enough.

Ms. Bolton rightfully got the vapors and I was sent to the office and they called my Mother who was a teacher at the Jr. High.

When I got home, It was explained that Gentlemen don't say that. The Birds and Bees were also explained however, to this day, the explanation makes no sense.

David Blevins explained his version of it once but he had read it somewhere and he didn't know what he was talking about either.
Thankfully, A few years later, I met a Waitress at the Tastee Freeze who gave a very good explanation and even demonstrated

[ScottA]

You got every right to rant on something like this. Fact is the school are affraid of these kids and don't want to confront them for real. I wish you luck.

[NM_Shooter]

Thanks for the support folks.

I think one factor in my daughter's issue here is that she and her sister have been raised to be really respective kids.  If they address adults, they use a Mr. / Ms. in front of the name.  They get upset if they see someone litter, or be cruel to animals, or vandalism.  They write thank you letters when given gifts.  They don't swear, and they don't lie (granted... I may not get all the data without asking hard questions). 

They both get really, really bugged when they see people who are disrespectful.  My youngest one especially gets mad when someone is deliberately disrespectful, and she thinks it is her place to let them know how she feels.  We're working on appropriate responses for her to use.

Anyway, she has this extreme sense of black / white when it comes to right / wrong, as she feels compelled to say or do something when she sees crap going on.   

Sometimes it is a good thing.  My kids play competitive chess.  Last year at a tournament, she saw a little kid getting harassed by older boys who were picking on him.  She went over and got in the middle of it and stuck up for the kid getting picked on (my daughter is an itty bitty thing to boot).  She didn't tell me about it until during the award ceremony when the little kid came over to her to thank her and show her his trophy and I asked who he was. 

Sometimes it is a bad thing... she is responding to these kids who are basically one breath away from being gang bangers.  I don't need her becoming a target for their exclusive attention. 

She has got to become more smart in how she responds.  I need her to act more resiliently, or at least understand that revenge tastes better cold.  (I know, that was a mean thing to say).  I just want her to get out of reaction mode.

Being a parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.

-f-

(But I wouldn't trade being a dad for the world) 

[muldoon]

some of the best and very worst people I have known in my life worked at public schools.  If the administration cant get this sorted out, there is always the public media.  Maybe your local paper or news station would be interested?  school principles are usually some of the worst smidgens of middle management, and getting embarrassed and humiliated can go a long way to them remembering who you are.... revenge served cold. 

as for the boys.  do you have a backhoe? 

[Redoverfarm]

Frank welcome to the new style of education.

My son not because he is mine but is rather mature for his age and gets along well and is well respected.  He had an incident at school where another boy was grabbing his shirt and trying to stuff trash down the front.  My son told him repeatedly to stop and he refused.  My son then pushed him away.  The boy then swung and hit him.  Taken Dad's advice of self defense he countered and the boy hit the floor.  The school system has adopted a policy that both parties are expelled for 3 days irregardless of the instigator.  The principle was not present that day and the guidance counsler called him and advised him of what occured and what would be the appriote action.  The principle thought it was a joke because my son was not that type of student.  But in a later call by me he said that it was not only the school policy but the board of educations policy.  There were 5 other students that has witnessed the altercation but their (administration) lack of investigatory skills or should I say their lack of desire to determine the guilty party is what my son was punished for.

This is just a way of not having to deal with situations or conduct any type of investigation to determine who was at fault and punish the guilty party.  It is completely unfair but little we can do to change their lack of intrest in changing their thinking.  Most of the administrators are not of the "old school" and IMO couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel. 

Anyway There is a bright side in that he was able to help dad for three days.  He said that he wished it would only happened in hunting season.

[apaknad]

NM,
how very very sad at what our educational institutions are becoming. pardon my michigan ignorance but i assume a "coyote" is a cross between a white/hispanic person.
you are absolutly correct in telling your daughter not to sign anything w/o you there. the PC aspect in the leadership in schools and elsewhere is completely out of control.
this is why home schooling and private schools are flourishing.

[glenn kangiser]

Frank, I don't believe your daughter is of legal age that they can contract with her without you being there to advise her.  Seems there are laws about entering into a binding contract with a minor.

I told the school they did not have my permission to discipline my children and that they were to call me to decide what was to be done --- they wanted to administer swats with a paddle.  My son who would never have started a fight, did as I told him and protected himself.  I told him not to start a fight but if someone starts one with him he could finish it immediately -- like John's son I guess.

My dad told me to turn the other cheek so I did out of respect for him -- no -- out of fear of him.  I always got the sh-t beat out of me because of him and by him.  I lost my respect for him at 13 and started fighting back - moved out at 17.  Never went back. 

I think you are doing the right thing for your daughter and if they know they can count on you they will always respect you.  I may be a jerk but my kids still respect me as much as I deserve. 

Respect for other adults can be taught.  The children must also recognize when it is undeserved, but in today's world it must sometimes be given to those who don't deserve it.  Boot licking can be practiced while there is an authoritarian ego to be stroked.  The name calling can wait until after he or she leaves. 

The time to not give it is when the undeserving are in trouble by a crisis of their own making.  Walk away without looking back if there is no benefit for you.

Respect must be earned by parents no matter what.  It is not mandatory.

The next time the  school kangaroo court ordered me and my other son to sign a contract stating that he would be there every day to the end of school.  He has chronic bronchial asthma and had missed a lot at the time due to it.  We are talking blue in the face.  I could not guarantee his health and they wouldn't excuse him.  This was about 15 years ago.  I said some very choice words about the management there in my ordered mandatory phone contact with them.  I was trucking and broke.  I was told I would go to jail if I didn't show.  I showed.  They had a city police officer standing there with his hand on his gun to impress me.  Needless to say I told them to sign it themselves because a contract signed under duress wasn't a legal contract.  I walked out the door figuring the cop could shoot me in the back if he was man enough.

I don't think you want advice from me on this one.  I blather.  I'm not always real tolerant.

[Whitlock]

The goverment razing our children  plan and simple
I think we can't even home school our kids anymore without a teaching deg.
This sucks Shooter who are they to make your kids sign something
Been though some off this with mine

This crap pisses me off,W


I allways thought a Coyote was someone who brought illegals across the border for money

[glenn kangiser]

My brother and son are married to Mexicans also - Sister married an American Indian.  Nephews and nieces are pretty mixed but mostly good kids.  People are people... good... bad or in between.  I like all the good ones, carefully tolerate the in between ones and hate the bad ones -- I don't care what color or race. 

White trash is as bad as brown or black or any other supposed color. 

[MountainDon]

We're sorry to hear of the situation, Frank. Hope it works out.

[NM_Shooter]

This situation is going to be fine.  The one I am most concerned about is my daughter, but she is a pretty resilient kid.  She gets sad but gets over it quick.

We talked to our daughter and found out more things that indicates that the V.P. didn't have all the facts before administering punishment.  If the VP is not careful, she is going to look like a complete fool on Monday. 

Just to clarify, not every one in the school is a problem.  The Principal is actually a great guy.  I like visiting with him, and the kids in the school love him.  He is a no nonsense guy who earns respect from everyone.  He inherited a huge mess from the previous principal last year. 

He told my daughter the other day "they are calling you names now...but do you want to know what those kids are going to call you in 15 years?  ....Boss".  Turns out he was on T-Day vacation when this problem occurred and the VP was in charge.  She (the VP) is a wanna-be empire builder.

I am going to ask that this punishment be reduced to an essay written by my daughter on how to handle problems like this in the future, and that this suspension be dismissed and removed from her record. 

If they refuse, I am going to file a complaint with the school board. 

BTW... yes, a coyote is someone of mixed blood. 





 

[glenn kangiser]

Please keep us updated, Frank.  I hope all goes well.

This stuff will only get worse as Osbama tries to get our kids from 0 to 5 years old if he is allowed to go through with that plan.

[NM_Shooter]

Thanks...we were preparing to get the tree decorated last night after church and had the lights on it when the VP called our house.  She said that the Principal was tending to his ill wife on Monday and could not meet with us at 8am.  She said that we could meet on Tuesday instead.  We asked her if the suspension was still going to stand and she said yes.  We were so upset that we postponed our tree decorating party. 

We found out more details regarding what happened and we are even more appalled with the VP's decision. 

Oddly enough, we have a family full of teacher-types.  Father in law was a teacher and a principal for 40 years.  Mom in law a teacher for 35.  Two sister in-laws are elementary teachers, brother in law is a counselor.  We shared this story with them over turkey and they suggested going up the ladder to the board.

So I have started writing a formal complaint, and as I am writing it down, it is really becoming clear.  We have a sit down meeting with the Principal, and the VP on Tuesday, followed by a private meeting with the Principal.  I think he is a really good guy and I don't want to file a report with the board over his head without visiting with him first.

I'm looking forward to the meeting with the VP on Tuesday.  I am thinking about bringing a recording device.  I have a list of very simple, pointed questions for her to answer.  If she plays along I think it could be a lot of fun.

[glenn kangiser]

G/L Frank.  Stick to your guns on this.  Give 'em hell on this.  Nothing has pi$$ed me off much more over the years than these little Hitlers and the stealing and twisting of our kids minds by the government. 

Whose kids are they anyway? hmm ....theirs of course.  Test them if you don't believe it. 

This is where not questioning authority is taught and independent thinking is taught as being wrong and punishable.  You must not decide what is right for yourself.  The supreme rulers will decide.  Do not step out of the mold.  Right and wrong is not that right and wrong -- it is what we say it is.  Ignore your conscience.  Ignore common sense.  It doesn't apply here.  Black is white.  White is black.

Think different or not recognize their power, it is even possible to be imprisoned.  When will it be stopped?  Most will not question them so are unaware of the consequences.  It's like they want to give your kid a record before they even get out of HS and they don't even care.  The kids are just cattle, Student #143607, to be herded through the chutes and come out unquestioning unthinking little zombies who will follow whatever they are told as long as someone higher says it.

The teachers were trained by the system - don't expect most of them to understand. 

I learned that I am equal to or superior to any leader of government, authority figure or other human, whoever.  

They all put their pants on one leg at a time, so to speak.  What we collectively allow them to do to us  is what gives them their power.  This includes pretending in our minds, convincing ourselves that they are superior to us and have power over us. Rollling over on our backs like a little dog - sometimes that is of benefit -- that is when we should do it. 

Sometimes it is good for all - then is also appropriate, but we need to resist that cautiously to the best of our abilities when it is not appropriate, lest they become drunk with their own power. I like to straighten them out as much as I can without it being detrimental to me.

No one is superior.  It is the same for your child if she can think for herself.  Respect can be given.  Authority can be recognized if it benefits her... or him... but no one is superior if they are alive on this earth.  Those who can't think for themselves are doomed to always feel inferior and subjugated to abuse by authorities.  Those who resist will or may also be subject to abuse though. 

Use the power to understand your equality and recognize that you may have to allow them to feel that they are superior if it is to your benefit.

[Squirl]

There are many avenues to light a fire under someone's rear.  Written letters sometimes work, but not usually for me.  You can hire a lawyer. This is usually an expensive option and it is difficult to find one with this specialization. 
This seems like a simple case of local politics.  If you can organize the parents of other victims of the thug you can be a very powerful political force.  Usually school board elections are very small turnout and only a few people.  If you make it clear that a small group of people are very upset at the administration of this school this may put some fear into their eyes.  Hit them where it hurts, their job.  You could couch it in the terms that you are so upset that you and/or other parents would like to take their position on the school board.  And you may want to let the principle know you are doing it.  This may cause a backlash on your child but it may scare the crap out of him.  If you/or other parent become board members you could have him fired.
It would be simpler to find a lawyer willing to sue the school district for blatantly not doing anything about the thug.  The sexual harassment incident that you described seems pretty inflammatory and you would never want something like that in front of a jury, especially with a lot of witnesses. That incident sounds like it could be criminal.  If you have a family attorney, I would contact them about how to proceed with the police.  If it happened this year, I can not imagine that the statute of limitations has expired.