A Simple Life......A Simple Message

[sparks]

Hi Folks,

Haven't been here much lately. I made a short post on the 'family' thread a while back, but that was about all I could muster up. My mom has had a plethora of problems since last Sept. and some days I'm not sure what day it is.

And some days I don't know who to turn to.

Probably why I'm here............cyber space.

The end of life experience isn't pretty. Memories seem to rule.

Was going thru boxes and papers yesterday and found a Bible Mom had given me in Sept. 1967.

It was chocked full of book marks. I haven't seen this Bible in over 30 years.

There is an empty envelope placed in the book of Matthew......and some faint scribbling......I think it says
16:24

And she appears to have favored The Acts and Romans......lots of little pieces of paper in those books.



Oh, hell, I'm just babbling.....


Mom's comfortable and in good hands..



sparks

[StinkerBell]

<<<HUG>>>

[glenn kangiser]

Hey Sparks, I think you may have found the right place.  Someone is here every few minutes of the day.  Here's hoping things go well for you.

[MountainDon]

I pretty much always fumble for words.

"I'm sorry" doesn't seem to cut it.

Even those times when one is expecting a parent to pass, it is hard.

K and I have mourned the loss of both sets of our parents, three in the space of 2 1/2 years.

There are times when we still miss them, probably always will.

However, we are sure they are not suffering as they were in their last days here.

My sympathies and best wishes to you.

Think of how lucky you were to have good times to remember.

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Sparks, sorry to hear that you're going through this too.  We've been going through it with my Grandma, who was in excellent health up to Aug. 22 of last year.  She passed away a week ago yesterday, something that probably wouldn't have happened had she not gone to the hospital for back pain and ended up getting pneumonia and MRSA there.  You go through all the "would have, should have, could haves" and still not sure that any of it would have made a difference.  Sending hugs and prayers your way.   Hope that you have someone to grieve with, as opposed to being alone in the matter.   I know for me, knowing that Grandma is not suffering anymore is a lot of help, but watching my aunts and uncles ransack her house before the funeral is even over is hard to take. 

[sparks]

A heartfelt thanks to all that responded here or perused this thread. Mom will be leaving the hospital Monday to spend the remainder of her life in her home. Hospice or family will be there 24/7.

I just put my 2 yr old grandaughter to bed. 

A very young life coming in to my life, and an elderly life leaving.

Such is life.


May Peace be with each of you,

Sparks

[peternap]

I just saw this thread Sparks...sorry.

I've been through that and feel for you. The wait at the hospital is perhaps the hardest part. Try to remember the good times you both had and realize that this is just a part of life.

It's never easy and there isn't any way to lessen the sorrow you feel. We are here if you need us though.
Don

[Sassy]

It's always hard to see your parents get weaker & have illnesses.  I lost my mom 10 yrs ago & my dad 2 yrs ago on Leap Year day.  Both chose not to spend their last days in the hospital but at home.  Those memories are so much better than having to go to the hospital for a short visit with a bunch of strangers.  Being able to take care of my dad for the last couple weeks of his life are memories I'll always have - like a completion - he raised me & I was able to return something to him. 

Bittersweet - my prayers are with you & your mom & family. 

[considerations]

We lost Dad in 2003.  I have to say I was grateful we brought him home 24 hours before he passed away. There was only (mercifully) 4 months from diagnosis to d-day.  I'm sorry my Mom had to go through so much grief.   It doesn't go away, just gets buffered by time.

Hang in, when end of days comes I think that quality outweighs quantity....and, as a younger relative, doing one's best to help without taking over is the balancing act that seems to come into play.   

All in all, being engaged and present seemed to be the reason that I muddled through the aftermath...at least I could say "I did my best" with a clear conscience.

[eddiescabin]

Sparks...
Our heartfelt sympathy and prayers are with your mom and your family.  There are no words to ease the emotions, tell mom you love her and thank her for all she has been to you, hold her hand, read stories, even news to her...even if she is not awake to answer...just be near, your love will be felt.  Hugs to all of you, Eddie

[desimulacra]

I Lost my Dad in 02 and still miss him but he got to spend his last days at home and I am still proud of that. I also know he is in a better place and that always makes me smile. I am now helping mom stay at home, hopefully until she passes. It gets tough but the rewards come in unexpected ways. Hang in there and my prayers are with  you and yours.

[sparks]

 Thanks again to all who have looked and posted here. Mom's higher faculties are falling away. Having a conversation is impossible....even the Q and A doesn't work well any longer......and most of the time she doesn't know who I am, or my brother.

Oddly though, she recognises when the food tray is brought to her and becomes a bit territorial about it. I was trying to help her chase down a spoonful of jello the other day and she snapped at me..."I'll GET it!!"

I didn't argue with her.



sparks

[devildog]

sparks , sorry to hear whats going on with your mother,Ill be praying for all of your family.
I just got back from WestVirginia and spending some time with my grandmother who was in stage 4 cancer. She was determined to do things herself as well(you cant stop them), unfortunatly ,she lost her balance and fell,hit her head, and passed away last wednesday after about 5 minutes in the emergency room.
Enjoy the time you have.
Darrell

[Sassy]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, devildog...  it was great that you were able to visit with her.  The same thing happened to my grandmother but she didn't make it to ER.   Falls seem to be one of the biggest dangers for the infirm & elderly.  My dad fell several times a short while before he passed, but he was determined to be independent until he couldn't get out of bed anymore.  You can only protect them so much.

Sparks, sounds like your mom still has a healthy appetite, lol!  A lot of times you can hardly get a person to eat.

[sparks]

Mom passed away Oct. 21, 2010. The funeral was Oct. 25, 2010

She is survived by myself, my brother, two grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren

And I'm very grateful that she was my mother.



sparks

[peternap]

My sympathy to you and your family Sparks!

[MountainDon]

What can I say?

Take one day at a time.

[NM_Shooter]

Warm memories are the right frame of mind to be in now.  Don't worry about anything else but her.  Job, bills, kids....nothing.

Stay close, share love with her while you can. 

-f-

[rick91351]

Sparks sorry to hear about your mom.  However what a great thing to say.

"And I'm very grateful that she was my mother."

I hear so much of just opposite today.........how refreshing

[muldoon]

sorry is a word that I find so lacking for this type of situation, but yet I know of no other way to convey it.  sparks, I am sorry for what you have gone through this past year but find some happiness that you got to spend time with her before the very end and remember the lifetime of knowing each other.  We'll be praying for your family. 

[StinkerBell]

<hug>

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

So sorry, Sparks, but glad that you can say you're glad she was your mom....  Hugs.