Frustrating

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Just got an email from my aunt.  For those who don't know, my grandma passed away at the end of February.  Since then, my aunt has taken up the hobby of driving the rest of the family nuts by trying to get rid of every trace that Grandma ever lived as quickly as possible (in part, I'm sure this is to avoid grieving and processing all that has happened.)  Mom was living with Grandma before she died, and my aunt has been very forceful in trying to get mom out of her house, starting the day of the funeral, if not before.  She's also gotten rid of anything SHE didn't personally want or see value in, whether or not some of the rest of us could have used it, or even without regard to if we'd had time to go look through stuff.  Well, today I got an email that we're (as in all the family) supposed to cancel all our plans for Memorial Day weekend and come get the rest of the stuff out of Grandma's house and spend the day working in/on the house because my aunt has decided that the house won't sell until every last bit of character has been stripped from it (she had it on the market almost immediately, and finally listed with a realtor about two weeks ago.)  I'm 8 months pregnant, and somehow it has been decided by said aunt that I should be the one to receive the 50+ year old GE deep freeze that has been in continual service ever since I can remember, AND, I need to get it out THIS weekend.  (We're the only ones with a farm where we have need of a deep freeze...however, getting it means that all our current remodeling needs to be put on hold so that I can make room for it in the garage, plus there is the whole issue of finding help moving it because it weighs a ton and as I said, at 8 months pregnant, I don't need to be lifting the stupid thing.  ARGH!!

[StinkerBell]

Sounds like this freezer is big enough to store your aunt in

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

ROFL... thanks, Stink!  I needed that!  We decided we are just going to ignore her email and not go down there this weekend.  We're going down tomorrow night and helping mom get the rest of her stuff out so she doesn't have to be there either.  If we can find help for moving the freezer, then we'll move it, and if not, we won't.  It doesn't eat much and it wouldn't hurt if it sits there in the garage until just before the house closes.  The stress caused by all of it isn't really about the stuff so much as it is that my aunt has been such a martyr about the whole thing, but no one has been forcing her to go clean stuff out right away, and it wasn't like it was necessary to do it right away.  It would have been nice if we could have left the house alone until Easter and had a family get together there like we always have before she started ransacking it.  Of course, in her mind, any of us who have a problem with the way she has done things must be attached to the stuff and of course, way less spiritual than her!  

[glenn kangiser]

Good idea, Homey.

Whooda thunk.... just ignore the modern method of communication and you don't need to be in a tizzy...

[muldoon]

homegrown, sorry to hear about your grandmother.  people go through grieving very differently, while it may just be stuff for your aunt it may very well be part of her healing process.  I wouldn't drop plans to jump either but she *might* not be intending to be a pain about it. My mom got very weirded out when my great grandmother passed a few years ago and it caused some bad feelings in our family; she was just struggling with the situation and unable to express what she was thinking I guess.  Give her some time to stew on it and let it work itself out. 

besides, a 50 year old freezer sounds horribly inefficient.  might make a great kegerator tho.  you got any kegs to put in it? 

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

I don't know about its energy consumption, Muldoon, but do know that it keeps stuff a lot colder than the new one in Grandma's pantry. 
My aunt does NOT intend to be a pain, but in order for her to deal with her own weird grieving process, she isn't allowing anyone else to grieve.  Anytime any of her siblings have tried to approach her in a reasonable manner, she's bitten their heads off.  It isn't just that she is a pain, she is controlling and telling everyone else how that their grief ought to look, etc.  She gave away half of Grandma's stuff without consulting anyone in the family.... sold off another 1/3 to 1/2 without consulting anyone or letting any of her siblings at least help.  And then plays the martyr because she's "done all the work". 

[kenhill]

Is your Aunt the executor of the Will?  When my parents died, we did an evaluation of the value of the property and if anyone wanted something, it was deducted from the cash received from selling property.  I would think your mother and her siblings should be sharing equally in the estate.