God bless American boys!

[NM_Shooter]

I can't believe my brother and I didn't think of this.

-f-

Notice whoever wrote this didn't sign his name?



Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner... let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dads muzzleloader pyrodex . At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.


Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH CRAP he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Hell. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 MF'n decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE DAMN DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE. There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom. One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

[glenn kangiser]

That sounded like it was fun...

[Don_P]

I'm sure glad we played it safe and just filled trash bags with propane 

[glenn kangiser]

Oxy-acetylene and ruptured eardrums (almost)

[Redoverfarm]

Great story Frank.

[peternap]

That's the funniest story I've heard for a long time Frank.
Kids were allowed a little room then. I won't tell the story about strike anywhere matches in a 177 pellet rifle and gasoline filled cups.

[Redoverfarm]

For those of you who have sons, & those of you who are happy that you don't.    IF YOU DON"T WANT TO READ ALL OF THE LIST BELOW, READ AT LEAST 7-10, AND> THE LAST 2.

> > > And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like:> >

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. > house 4 inches deep. >

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with > roller blades, they can ignite. >

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a > crowded restaurant. >

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not > strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and > a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint > can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. >

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. > When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a > few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a > long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a > baseball hit by a ceiling fan. >

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's > already too late. >

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. >

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even > though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. >

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- > year old Boy. >

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same > sentence. >

12.) Super glue is forever. >

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you > still can't walk on water. >

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. >

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV > commercials show they do. >

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. >

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. >

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. >

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys > do not like ovens. >

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response > time. >

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make > earthworms dizzy. >

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. >

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. >

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their > friends, with or without kids. >

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake > fluid.

[Sonoran]

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake > fluid.

I was honestly considering this.  Curiosity (spelling?) I guess, I really want to see how much smoke it will make.   

[MountainDon]

Never tried it myself. I have heard both that it does not work and that the smoke is toxic, contains chlorine. I've also read that depending on the proportions it can splatter/explode. I choose to err on the side of caution and will let others experiment.   

[Alasdair]

Many happy hours with out of date flares....


Sonoran,
make sure you post pictures of your test!!

[peternap]

Now if you want really beautiful green smoke....Make some Aquafortis but add copper instead of iron to the nitric acid

I did it once...It also killed every bug downwind, maybe a neighbor or two also. Since they are downwind, I'd never know.

[fishing_guy]

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake > fluid.

I was honestly considering this.  Curiosity (spelling?) I guess, I really want to see how much smoke it will make.   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwC5hoRFR6Q&NR=1

Saves you the trouble...

[MountainDon]

That was disappointing. Perhaps the proportions have to be correct?  Perhaps it was silicone based and not the 'normal' other stuff?

[fishing_guy]

Experiment away MD.  Remember, we want pictures!

[glenn kangiser]

That dude didn't know what he was doing. 

I have done it and it does not fail.  Do it in a paper cup and it will get burning good before the cup fails.  Looks like a higher ratio of fluid burns more rather than explodes - I did it about 50/50 in a cup.... smoke then fire after about 20 seconds or so.

Here is one that was not a failure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggmMu5nyO5g&feature=related

[Sassy]