And Then The Fight Started

[StinkerBell]

And Then The Fight Started
-------------------------
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her

someplace expensive....

so, I took her to a gas station...

And then the fight started....

================================================== ==================

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat

alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'

And then the fight started...

================================================== =========

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...
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THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck,
the car, playing golf "

Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home
one day,

I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair
of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I

was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a

toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as

well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which

one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

[glenn kangiser]

The last one, Stinky... I fail to see what the husband did wrong...

[StinkerBell]

I found the scale purchase to be the funniest.

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

I liked that one, too, Stink.

[glenn kangiser]

I'm not touching anything with scales.... unless it's a snake....or gold...

[StinkerBell]

I'm not touching anything with scales.... unless it's a snake....or gold...

Thats called EXPERIENCE....

[Whitlock]

I'm not touching anything with scales.... unless it's a snake....or gold...

Glenn are you afraid of fish??

[Pox Eclipse]

You guys need to read "Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About" .

Sample:

Margret flooded the kitchen last week. Turned the taps on, put the plug in the sink, and utterly forgot about it (because she'd come upstairs and we'd got involved in an unrelated argument). She goes back downstairs, opens the door and - whoosh - it's Sea World. The interesting thing about this is, if I'd flooded the kitchen, it would have been a bellowing, 'You've flooded the kitchen, you idiot!' and then she'd have done that thing where I curl up in a ball, trying to protect my head, and she kicks me repeatedly in the kidneys. As it was, however, there's a shout, I run downstairs and stand for a beat in the doorway - taking in the scene, waves lapping gently at my ankles - and she turns round and roars, 'Well, help me then - can't you see I've flooded the kitchen, you idiot?'

[glenn kangiser]

I'm not touching anything with scales.... unless it's a snake....or gold...

Thats called EXPERIENCE....

More like future planning....

[tesa]

"things my girlfriend and i argue about"

that was hysterical

the kid is outside playing, and i've got some time on my hands, so i thought i'd poke around
here (don't tell my husband i'm NOT working on the floor plan today)

thanks for the laughs

tesa