my cold weather dilemma-- for those of you who enjoy fun at others' expense

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

   Not sure I really want to tell this story, but I'm sure that there are some of you who probably need a chuckle more than I need my pride...
  I got up this morning and it was just frigid.  Well, most of the maternity clothes I have are somewhat temperate (thankfully my big coat will still button over the belly, though).  I didn't have any long johns that will fit, so I got to thinking about how I could possibly layer something under my maternity jeans that would help me stay a little warmer.  The best I could come up with was some maternity compression hose that the doctor recommended for me to wear.  I haven't been wearing them because the only thing they really compress is my pinky toe and they don't seem to help with achy legs and feet.  So I pulled them out of the drawer and eyed them doubtfully, but I figured even a thin layer should help some, right?  They're maybe all of 15" long when they're not on... how they expand to fit someone 5'7", I don't know... and I have to wonder what idiot created them... they must've never tried to lean over a pregnant belly and wrestle the things on.  Anyway, with quite a bit of herculean effort, I wrangled them on, and then pulled up the maternity jeans over them.  The jeans were a little big to begin with, and with the squishing effect of the hose, they seemed even larger.  I hiked them up to my chin and pulled on my cowboy boots, and satisfied that it was the best that i was going to get, bundled up and went out with the girls.  We decided to eat lunch out because we were sick of being cooped up at home.  About halfway through my tostada, I could feel this mysterious gravitational pull when all the sudden, sproing! the waistband of the hose popped down below my belly.  I didn't think it was a problem... after all, the jeans were still up and the shirt tail was over them....  However, now that  my belly was back to normal pregnant size, the hose kept heading south because the pants weren't tight enough to hold them up.  It really made me wonder how those young kids that wear their pants hanging halfway off their butts can stand it!  So, I made a quick trip to the restroom to right the problem and all was well for a little while... until we got to the grocery store.  I could barely focus on what was on my list because i was so busy holding my jeans up to keep the hose from totally conquering them... the girls were giggling hysterically at my sagging pants (and I saw many other customers snickering, too, thanks to my kids' fits of laughter and the comments about "mama's britches are too big", etc.)  The moral of this story is: suck it up and just deal with the cold...that, or maybe wear suspenders?  Anyway, I think I'm going to get online and see if they sell long johns for pregnant women in the meantime... maybe I should just go with the union suit style ones, though those frequent trips to the bathroom could prove just as challenging as keeping up a pair of 15" support hose.  Wishing you all a WARM New Year!

[tanya]

well here in the north foolishness be damned.  If it is warmer who cares what it looks like.  I wear my PJ's, sweats or whatever else I have handy under my skirts and jumpers and if they peak out from underneath I don't care.  I am not about to be cold I wear them under my jeans too but the skirts tend to keep the snow OFF rather than suck it up and melt like it does on the jeans.  Today I have my tie dye long johns on under my nice beautiful conservative velvet skirt.  I am way past the point of caring what anyone else thinks.  What is important is that I might think myself a dumb ass if I don't dress warm and the car breaks down. 

[glenn kangiser]

Thanks, Homegrown.  Any pictures? 

Fun at other's expense, moi?

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

No, thank goodness the kids don't know how to work the camera yet... I found out later why the hose weren't staying up... my husband confessed that he'd decided to "help" with laundry and had run them through the dryer on high, apparently killing the elasticity of the waistband.

[glenn kangiser]

That's too funny.  A little native American sagger.