The "joys" of parenthood

Jens · December 23, 2008, 02:11:37 PM

I was woken up at 5:30 this morning, by my two year old Avery. Standing next to the bed, he was mumbling, and sobbing. Still basically asleep, I was able to make out the words pee, and bed. As I reached down to check (don't know why we feel the need to make sure they are not lying), I smelled something awful, and then made out the word poop, just as I made contact. Still asleep, wondering what the smell was (how could pee smell so bad), my brain finally put everything together. Now, I must say that in times like these, it is still so tempting to bury yourself underneath the covers and try to ignore the poor little child! It is horrible, I know, but there nonetheless. Got up, took him to the bath, cleaned him off, got back in bed around 6:00. Couldn't get back to sleep for a while.

What are some of your better stories?

Sassy · December 23, 2008, 02:30:01 PM

Well, I just had my 2 granddaughters here for 3 days. The 2 y/o is potty trained - I noticed that the light was on in the bathroom & since we're on solar/wind I'm real conscientious to turn off lights. I reached in & switched the light off, not realizing that the 2 y/o was just getting ready to sit down on the toilet - when the light went off it scared her & she pee'd all over herself. I felt bad...

My oldest son was very, very active... when I lived in Washington state, our house was on a little cul-de-sac out in the country with a few other homes. He'd get up at 6am, pull off his PJ's & diaper & go outside & ride his "hot wheels" - we didn't have a deadbolt or chain for the door (we should have) so I'd find him outside naked riding his hot wheels

December 23, 2008, 03:12:15 PM

My oldest was 3, and shortly after Halloween I caught her in the kitchen, standing next to the candy bowl by the refrigerator while chewing furiously. She knew she was not supposed to be snacking right before dinner, and she had this "oh heck, I'm busted" look on her face.

I gave her the ojo for a few seconds and I asked her..."What are you eating?".

I could see her brain spinning as she was searching for something to say.

She looked up at me and ..."broccoli".

I told her to open up her mouth; I wanted a look.

I found broccoli.

sparks · December 23, 2008, 10:25:45 PM

Broccoli......love the stuff, but I'll probably never see it the same way again....

Handshake Jens, a short background:

http://countryplans.com/smf/index.php?topic=4625.0

The wife and I have had custody since this fiasco. The little gal is doing great....a bit over 25 lbs and 26 inches. And getting very mobile. The promotion from grandfather to daddy was somewhat of a shock

sparks

ScottA · December 23, 2008, 10:34:18 PM

Been there, done that Jens, but it was along time ago. Thanks for the reminder.

December 23, 2008, 10:48:18 PM

Funny part is, we have three older children. Certain things change, or we get better at them, some don't! The best poop experiences though, have to be the ones when they fill their footed pj's...very nice. Avery is also the one who will eat anything he can get his hands on. You catch him, and he just runs away, hides in a corner, and finishes chewing. He is going to be trouble! Our girls used to be so happy to be having broccoli, that they would actually do a song and dance act while waving the raw veggies around before we could cook them.

Whitlock · December 23, 2008, 11:34:41 PM

I was out at the mine one day prospecting with my son he was about 6 at the time.He said dad I got to go. I said poop and of corse he said yes.
Well I looked eveywere for some TP. There was none to be had so I figured I would use the top of my sock to clean him up. As I was taking off my sock he asked what are you doing so I told him I was taking of my sock to wipe his butt with it. He started crying so I asked him whats the matter.

He said I don't want any athletes on my butt dad.

Sassy · December 23, 2008, 11:46:42 PM

glenn kangiser · December 24, 2008, 01:29:24 AM

Quote from: Jens on December 23, 2008, 02:11:37 PM
I was woken up at 5:30 this morning, by my two year old Avery. Standing next to the bed, he was mumbling, and sobbing. Still basically asleep, I was able to make out the words pee, and bed. As I reached down to check (don't know why we feel the need to make sure they are not lying), I smelled something awful, and then made out the word poop, just as I made contact. Still asleep, wondering what the smell was (how could pee smell so bad), my brain finally put everything together. Now, I must say that in times like these, it is still so tempting to bury yourself underneath the covers and try to ignore the poor little child! It is horrible, I know, but there nonetheless. Got up, took him to the bath, cleaned him off, got back in bed around 6:00. Couldn't get back to sleep for a while.

What are some of your better stories?

I know you're young, Jens and experience is sometimes hard earned, but I would have sent him around to the other side of the bed....

December 24, 2008, 10:04:35 PM

well, funny thing about that. There is no other side of the bed to send him to! We have too much stuff being stored between the wall and the bed, until I finish the house, and even if he could get there, he just would've been talking to me again. Mommy had already left for work!

diyfrank · December 24, 2008, 10:41:36 PM

Funny stuff, I remember similar.

My daughter got to where she wouldn't eat her vegetables, I think around 3 or 4
I made her sit at the table till she did. When she said she was done, I went straight the the garbage and looked in. There were her pees inside. So I gave her a bigger scoop and she sat there and ate them up.

When my son got to that age he did the same thing except my daughter warned him not to dump them in the garbage.

Then came my youngest son. He started not eating. I told him he was eating he pees before he could leave the table.
He told me He would puke if he ate them.

I should have believe it.

One bite and his whole dinner came up.

Ernest T. Bass · December 24, 2008, 10:45:06 PM

Yeah, they have a way of gagging themselves... My young sister does that.. Annoys the heck out of my parents.

peternap · December 24, 2008, 10:48:10 PM

Jens. the little ones grow up really fast. Enjoy it while you can.

If your lucky, they come back on holidays and bring their kids and....you can give em back when they get messy.

Homegrown Tomatoes · December 26, 2008, 11:09:46 PM

Not laughing at y'all, but laughing with y'all. We have had a lot of similar experiences. Right after we moved back to OK we had one that I'll never forget. My middle daughter sleeps like a log, but if she is overtired or excited about something, she has a tendency to sleep walk. One night right after we moved, I heard her fussing in her sleep and went in to check on her. She was holding on to the corner post of her sister's bed and squatting down. I think I was about 8 months pregnant, so it was not too easy to lift a 40 pound child at that point. I asked her what she was doing and she said, matter-of-factly and still asleep, "I need to go to the bathroom." I snatched her up to rush her to the bathroom and she peed all over me. I had to strip her down and bathe her and get her dressed in clean dry clothes, etc., and she whined and talked nonsensically through all of it. She NEVER woke up throughout the whole ordeal!! The next morning she came into the kitchen and asked me why she had on different pJs than what she had on when she went to bed.

This is the same child who, when she was very little, embarrassed us to death in a home improvement store. She had an absolute terror of automatic flush toilets (she still doesn't like them and wants me to "cover their eyes".) Well, she knew this store had auto flush toilets, so right after we got there, she told me she needed to go to the bathroom. We went but she wouldn't go because she was freaked out about the toilets. So, she assured me she'd wait and she didn't ask again. DH was having a guy get some stuff for us when all of the sudden there was a terrible smell. The worker in the store turned around and said, "Well, who in the heck brought a dog in here!!?" There was a little pile in the middle of the aisle. The guy ran off to get a paper towel to clean it up and we got our stuff loaded in the cart and started to go. My middle daughter skipped ahead to catch up with her older sister when little turds started falling out of her pants leg. It wasn't until then that we realized that she'd messed up her pants because she was afraid to go on the automatic flush toilets. DH sent me to clean up the mess and take the kids on out to the truck so he could go through the check out without getting embarrassed further.

Homegrown Tomatoes · December 26, 2008, 11:12:40 PM

To redeem her a little, though, I have to tell this one. A few years ago, my mom got this same DD a santa hat. DD said it could NOT be a Santa hat because she was not fat and did not have a beard; therefore it must be an elf hat. Well, when we got the Christmas decorations out this year, DD found her had and put it on and someone commented on her "santa hat". "Oh, no," she said innocently, "It isn't a Santa hat at all. It is my Elvis hat!"