The Virus

[sparks]

When the wife and I bought this home, we had no idea what lay before us.................


Or the horror it would bring..........


To be continued................


sparks

[MountainDon]

It was a dark and stormy night.....


I can't wait, sparks. Next chapter please!

[sparks]

This whole nightmare started in my garage.......a very quiet place....not much more than cars, tools, and dust.

However, there were forces at work that I could not see...............

This may take some time .......please bear with me..........it all begins, with a chest freezer..a couple of

years ago........

[sparks]

That chest freezer took a crap, along with a lot of good meat.

But I failed to see the encroaching risk. The darkness was upon me.....and the clouds were gathering on the
horizon....


later, sparks

[sparks]

A bit later the virus made its way to the utility room....the clothes dryer...and made a big time attempt to burn the house down

There's more,

later








sparks

[sparks]

Initially, I didn't see the connection between the freezer and dryer. But a lot of 'things' started happening.
A copper line broke underneath the half bathroom.....lotta water in the crawl space. And light bulbs were failing at an alarming rate. The garage door opener was behaving bizarrely......some times it would go up or down all on its own. And then the water softener puked.

Shortly after the water softener fiasco, the wife called my attention to a puddle of water in the utility room. My first reaction was to blame it on the dog; but upon a visual check, I could see a small trail from the puddle leading to the hot water heater.....the blasted thing was rotting out at the bottom.

OK, bought a new WH, and even it installed myself. Sweated fittings, did the electric line, and no leaks! I was a little bit proud of myself.....but there was a nagging thought beginning to thread through my mind.....why was this rash of crap happening?

Little did I know, but I was about to meet ............... the virus.....





sparks

[Sassy]

and so?  To be con't?  Ya got my curiosity up now Sparks!

[Abbynrml]

So, who you gonna call???

The Ghostbusters?

[sparks]

Some time went by without incident and I figured that the infernal pestilence had left, maybe it would go bug someone else's home.

On an early Spring day, the wife and I were doing some yard work and I noticed the neighbor backing his truck into his drive. A large box was in the back....new flat screen TV. So, I shouted over 'new flat screen, eh?' To which he replied 'yeah, the tube took a dump'

I nearly jumped for joy...there it was. Proof that the virus had left my house. My only thought was 'man, you don't know what you're in for'. But the truth was, I didn't know what I was in for. The very next day the coffee pot quit.....well, actually it blew up. I was devastated. What next?

There had to be something common in all these events, what the heck was it? After some thought, I came to realise the attack was taking place on household appliances....electricity.....that was the common denominator! But wait, what about that copper pipe? Hhmmmm

You like brownies? I do, and the wife was kind enough whip up a batch. You know what's coming next, don't you? Yep. you guessed it. The oven had given it up. Both sides.....broil and bake....along with two of the top burners.

The virus had now wiped out nearly every major appliance in the house. I was at wit's end. And had no idea what to do.....maybe a pre emptive strike....just replace everything that had't been attacked. But something else was about to occur. Something I secretly feared. The clue......... was the copper pipe.


TBC.......sparks

[sparks]

Hhhmmmm.......

I sense that there might be skeptics, naysayers, and non believers amongst you.

So be it.

We aquired a new washing machine (yeah,that took a crap also) shortly after the new stove.

It even matched the new dryer. Imagine that.



Then the attack changed.....my wife's Blazer had over heated and blown the coolant out all over the drive way. An intake gasket was eaten away completely on the port side of the engine.

The virus had morphed or mutated into a full blown assault on our home....or had it?


Summer was upon us.....and I looked foward to doing one of the things I really enjoy most..


Boating......







sparks

[firefox]

Sparks, Sparks..are you ok???

I hope he knows how to swim....

BTW I hope you checked the supply volts,earth,etc. in your house.
Bruce

[peternap]

Had the same problem.
Tried hanging garlic everywhere, didn't work
Tried stocking up on silver bullets, nothing to shoot...

Then I printed a picture of Janet Reno ..Naked and hung it on the front door.

Within seconds there was a tremendous roar, the smell of burning sulfur and a flash of light...then peace and quiet and a gentle feeling settled in. I did forget to take the picture down and the mailman died of a heart attack. Didn't much like him anyway

[sparks]

An undraped pic of Hillary might have spared your mailman's life Peternap......

However. I digress.

Needless to say, as I de-winterised the boat and prepped it for the coming season, many strange thoughts were going through my mind. All the systems have to be reliable....kinda like an airplane.....you can't just pull over to the side of the road and change a flat tire. But it all went well.....backed it in the water, flipped on the blower and did a few last checks. A couple of pumps on the throttle and whoom, it came to life.....the exhaust gently bubbling to the surface of the river. And off I went.

The initial trip of a boating season always seems to be the most unnerving .....to me anyway. As I laid the throttle wide open, the litte GM V-6 burst out with a familiar roar, doing what it does best.....putting a smile on my face. But now, I was wondering if it would be wise to take it to the dock at home.....the hell with it. I forged on towards home.

There were many pleasurable days on the boat after that first trip. And it started getting quite warm as the days wore on.

Central air conditioning is a nice feature in a home....................

If it works,


An hvac friend came to the house, gave it a shot of central air juice, and said it was on its last legs.

My only thought.......what else is new?

The boat survived the season. And it wasn't long before it had to be put back away. The nagging question was still there......what was in my home???


And how could I get rid of it? I had a new theory, but feared if I voiced it, that folks would think the only thing going on at the sparks' residence was a dose of madness.

The common thread in all of this had nothing to do with electricity. The virus was watching my affairs, and watching very closely. I was beginning to feel as if my life had been scripted by Mr. Poe himself....



sparks

[sparks]

As the Summer cooled and Fall arrrived, I thought it might be a good idea to check the furnace.

It wouldn't start up. A tech came to the house, looked it over, and told me it had seen better days. And the heat exchanger was leaking.


I have a small account in the bank...........my mad money stash.....

And the virus knew it. All along that stinking virus was aware of it. Doing anything it could to clean me out.

There was no way to fight back......and worse yet, no one that would believe me. I felt it was worth one try to convince my wife. Well, needless to say......she didn't buy it. 

I was alone......me vs virus




sparks

[sparks]

OOmph, OOomph, Puush , Boomph!! OOosh.......*pokes his head out*   **looks around**......OMG ...it wasn't a dream.....they are all still here...........AAAhhhhhhggghhh!!!






The weirdest stuff has happened ......





No Virus....(of course you gentle readers knew that all along)



Just thought I'd poke my head back in here.



Happy Valentines Day.


Sparks

[n74tg]

It's good to know you aren't imminently on the eve of your own destruction....but,

Ah...heck. I was really into this virus attack.

How about deleting the Valentine's Day post and keep those creative juices flowing.

I haven't had a good dose of Stephen King in years.

Even if you don't...Happy Valentines Day.

[MushCreek]

Hmmmm- the power company gave us a particularly bad virus like that a few years ago. They were tunneling through our yard with a 'torpedo'. Someone miscalculated, and they hit an underground feeder, inadvertently connecting high voltage to ground. This plays serious havoc with all things electric, and they wound up buying us a lot of new appliances. The cable company (illegally) tied to their ground, so their large equipment box in our back yard was on FIRE, disrupting service to the whole block. At one point, we had the cable company, the electric company, the excavating company, the locating company, and the fire department all in our tiny back yard, pointing a lot of fingers!