It's over

Started by peternap, December 26, 2011, 11:06:18 AM

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peternap

Christmas has come and gone and was a letdown as far as Holiday Cheer.

With the folks gone now and the kids having their own families, things that we considered normal Holiday activities were fragmented and felt incomplete.

It just so happened that my sister in law's Aunt died recently also. She was 103. I was talking to her son who felt the same as I did this year and he made one of the most profound statements I think I've ever heard. He is 83 years old.

He said... "I guess you're never too old to be an orphan !"

The biggest problem with having a close family is that it's hard to let go of any part of it.
These here is God's finest scupturings! And there ain't no laws for the brave ones! And there ain't no asylums for the crazy ones! And there ain't no churches, except for this right here!

rick91351

Quote from: peternap on December 26, 2011, 11:06:18 AM

The biggest problem with having a close family is that it's hard to let go of any part of it.

We had a large get togethers over here around Christmas.  Now with all the aunts and uncles, all but my dad gone.  Then as far as dad I did not feel good about him joining us and all with his 96 year old problems and the steps coming into our house.  My brother moved off to New Mexico and we hardly ever talk anymore.    This coupled with a job that did not allow us to have very many good close friends.  Partly because I never knew when I was going to be working or not.  It was literary 35 plus years of going when they called you.  I loved it, I guess I hated it and never knew it.  That was just part of the job, suck it up and go 364 days.....  No questions asked, I never ducked those trains you did not want at two in the morning, with someone you hated to work with.  I just took the call and took the good with the bad.

But Christmas Eve I would never work.  DO not even think of calling me.  I would smoke and BBQ huge batches of baby back ribs, make a huge cast iron dutch oven of jambalaya, a stock pot of shrimp creole and a pot of rice.  The Ellen would bake and bake.  Pies and cookies and bread; stuff never seemed to stop come out off her double ovens.  Parents and our few close friends, uncles and aunts and cousins and parents.  People ate large, the conversation was loud.  I loved to watch it all unfold.  Most the time I ate very little but oh how I feasted on this event.     

Now it is just Ellen and I.  Both kids, one son in law and the greatest grand kids.  But sorry it is not here.  Oh I still do the ribs and the son in law who did chef does some things, but it is not here.  Until I find a fix it is not here.  I really do not know if there is a fix...... Peter is it really over?   :(       
Proverbs 24:3-5 Through wisdom is an house builded; an by understanding it is established.  4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.  5 A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength.


ChuckinVa

It's not over. It's just different. You can find new ways of getting the old feelings. We have had the same traditions for many years. On Christmas eve we always had a special meal for our kids and invited my mom and dad and grandmother over to enjoy it with us. Then I lost my grand mother and mother a year apart. That part will never be the same but now we are finding new traditions to enjoy. Dad still comes at Holidays ( he is 82 ) and we do it for him as much as we do it for us. We have a grand child on the way and as it grows we will have new traditions that involve it. The part about Christmas I enjoy the most is doing things for others. It doesn't have to be just family. It could be a friend who lost a loved one and is alone at Christmas. It could be serving a holiday dinner to the homeless. Don't give up on it. Just look for and try new things to enjoy at Christmas.
ChuckinVa
Authentic Appalachian American

MountainDon

Christmas and other family occasions change as the family grows up and in many cases moves a distance away. We're down to a very small group now; Karen and I and our son. Telephone conference calls can be nice, but are not the same as sharing the moments. Our family has also shrunk in recent years with the passing of both sets of our parents. Now we are no longer the magnet city for the various kids and families that are spread all over.
Just because something has been done and has not failed, doesn't mean it is good design.

Gary O

Well, the bride and I have come full circle.

We shared our first Christmas together 42 years ago.

No one else.

It was sweet.


We just got back from the cabin.

Shared our Christmas there.

No one else.

It was sweet.
I'm enjoying all that I own, the moment.

"Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." Emerson


NM_Shooter

I've found that the best way to resurrect holiday cheer is to get really active in volunteer work around the holidays.  I've met some amazing families doing that.  I didn't volunteer this season (lame excuse of too busy / not feeling well) and I really missed it.  Got sick between T-Day and Christmas and didn't even get my lights up this year.... first time ever. 

I had a close family with good traditions when I was a kid, and Christmas was the best.   I'm hoping my kids look back the same way.  I try to do something special for them during the holidays, and I am blessed that they are not the sit-on-the-couch sort of kids. 
"Officium Vacuus Auctorita"