I must admit my third child is moving out of the nest. He graduates from High School in less then two weeks and he is moving out. I love him, but I do look forward to him moving out.
I wanna feel guilty but I don't.
Know exactly how you feel. Parents job is to help their children become independant individuals. There is that awkward period of tug of war between not grown up and grown up that gives us that feeling of I'm glad they are moving out. when they come back (to visit), it is great! And you all of a sudden are alot smarter.
For me... What's hardest is NOT saying anything when I think they're messing up. My son is now 31 and has an MBA, works for Intel and has 3 boys and a 4th child due in November. He and his wife allow my grandchildren - 5, 3.5 & 1 - to get away with a lot of crap. The worst for my wife and I is when the middle child screams NO! and they allow that. Mmmm. Blood runs outa my mouth from biting my tongue.
And for 10 years now I've never offered any advice unless asked - and way too many times I've had to just walk away so I wouldn't say something. An adult over 18 is allowed to make their own way in the world without interference - although as a parent it's often very difficult to not offer unsolicited opinion.
I think I am one of those mama birds who throws her babies out the nest and screams, FLY!
I left the nest pretty early myself.
From my view, our jobs as parents is to prepare our children for the world. As evidence that your boy is ready to fly you obviously have no done that bad. Just remember the 20's are fraught with fallings down and starting over with nothing. Tough lessons come in the period of time after high school for sure. Be there when he needs you, let him fall down when he needs that.
It's OK, Stinky. I got kicked out when I was 17. Look how good I turned out. [waiting]
I have a step daughter that is 15 going on 30 .. ??? Yeah, in that awkward stage where she thinks she knows way more than mom & dad. Sometimes we'd like to kick her out.
Beautiful has a women's group at church that is planning on having a swap of things that you no longer want/need. She came home and told me, and I could see the thoughts in her head, "Maybe I can swap the kids...", but then it passed. :)
If we make it through the next 5 years (there's a 13yo boy coming up as well) without being worn out or having a heart attack or something, I think it will all be good ;D
This summer the boy is going to discover the value of hard work, tho, as I plan on dragging him up to the ranch to help with the clean up, building, and general work around the place. That's not to say we won't have fun (go fishin', etc...), but he'll find out that it takes energy and perseverance to actually build something.
I don't think you're a bad mom, tho. My own daughter (who is now 23), took forever to move out - and I basically had to sell the house out from under her to get her to do it. I'm still "evil" in her eyes, altho that is wearing off a bit lately 8)