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General => General Forum => Topic started by: Jeff922 on April 30, 2010, 09:04:38 AM

Title: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on April 30, 2010, 09:04:38 AM
I'm sure a lot of you have had experiences similar to mine.  Ever notice how when it comes to homebuilding, everyone seems to be a self-proclaimed expert?  I've had more than a few people stop by the job site just to give me an earful of opinions - usually telling me what I'm doing wrong.  The best way to deal with it is humor.  Here's the latest doozie:  Someone wrote this note next to my front door.

(https://i833.photobucket.com/albums/zz254/Jeffie922/dumbnote.jpg)


Here's a pic of my low-E, argon filled, energy star, rated highly in consumer reports "sleazy" windows

(https://i833.photobucket.com/albums/zz254/Jeffie922/sleazywindows.jpg)


People are strange....
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: rocking23nf on April 30, 2010, 09:06:38 AM
i think it looks pretty sharp.

I would leave a flaming bag of my dog's number 2 on that persons step.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: MikeT on April 30, 2010, 09:16:59 AM
How spineless of them not to leave their names. 
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: cbc58 on April 30, 2010, 09:23:14 AM
wow... how unfortunate to have neighbors like that.  leave a note telling them if they will pay for the grids you will put them in... otherwise they are trespassing.   better yet, leave them a message with the url to this site so they can see what people think of their "note".   it must be a couple because it says "our" opinion.  i think it looks great personally and am surprised anyone would leave such a thing.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: dug on April 30, 2010, 09:31:27 AM
QuoteThe best way to deal with it is humor.

You just gotta laugh. Too ridiculous to warrant any other response.

Sleazy no grid windows??   heh
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on April 30, 2010, 09:35:48 AM
Precisely Dug.  It's absurd to think someone had to stop at the end of my gated driveway and walk in with a magic-marker to write this!  Just gotta laugh!  :D
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: NM_Shooter on April 30, 2010, 09:43:49 AM
I have to poke at someone like that. 

Maybe make the primer coat pink, or perhaps some bathroom porcelain left out in the front yard as a planter?
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Woodsrule on April 30, 2010, 07:16:24 PM
Pink Primer Coat - Now that's funny!!! [cool]
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: MountainDon on April 30, 2010, 07:20:59 PM
My sister changed the color of their house a few years ago. They used a pink primer... something about it was specially developed to cover the previous dark toned color.  Had the neighbors wondering ....
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 07:54:58 AM
HaHaHa! Love it! I grew up in the willywacks of north-central PA - which has got to be the redneck capital of the northeast.  Down the road from my house there was a hunting camp with a sign out front with the camp's name (can't remember what it was).  It was painted very crudely on an old toilet seat hooked over a tree branch. 
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: NM_Shooter on May 01, 2010, 09:05:25 AM
That's it... get a toilet seat.  Print "Casa la Ventana de Gacho" on it, and hang it by the road. 

We'll need pix. 

-f-

BTW, the house looks GREAT!
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: PEG688 on May 01, 2010, 12:11:17 PM

  People have opinions , odd they'd leave you a note.

Nice lookin papering job and window detailing with the splines , thats not Vycor is it? No writing , I assume felt around your windows?


  As to the no grids part , I'd tend to agree that grids would look better with your design ,the steep pitched roof , short eaves , natural wood porch roof posts , all lead me to think your looking a traditional New England design and small panes of glass in double hung windows , or single hungs would be a natural selection.

Does that make your windows "sleazy" , NO, but for looks I'd say, read my opinion would be , grids / divided lites would be a better looking  option for your design.


  Really nice papering job, I also like the fact you used style "D" flashing , or at least a type of metal drip edge under your first cousre of shingles. Nice job!  8)




 



     
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: OkieJohn2 on May 01, 2010, 12:16:26 PM
Gee, what a helpful neighbor! At least they stopped there, with their taste I am suprised they didn't also suggest you get rid of those tacky tree trunk porch supports and get some nice plastic corinthian columns. ::)
My personal opinion on window grids-I would rather be honest than fake, and that is what grids are, fake divided light windows.  Now a true divided light window can look really great, in a newer development here one homeowner sprung for a huge arched top leaded diamond pane window and it is awesome, not very practical tho. Of course a few houses down is a house that has one of my pet peeves as far as windows, I large custom built house, with very well done brick veneer and to cut costs they opted for the cheapest builder grade aluminum frame windows.  
Oh, by the way great job so far and the porch is gonna' be awesome.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 01:32:19 PM
Some really funny comments.  I agree with Peg that grids would look a little bit nicer, but since grids are nothing more than decoration on a modern window, it kinda offends my sensibilities - I don't like things that don't have a function or purpose.  I painted an old farmhouse by myself years ago.  Had to scrape, re-glaze, prime, and paint all those grids off a ladder.  What a pain in the butt!  But I'll concede that they looked really nice! ;)  Thanks for the support everyone.

Oh, and it's peel and stick recycled-rubber flashing around the windows (can't remember the mfg name). There is a course of pine clapboard siding nailed on top of the sill to create positive drainage to the outside.  My roof overhang is 16" all the way around - which is quite large.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: PEG688 on May 01, 2010, 01:53:02 PM
Quote from: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 01:32:19 PM


My roof overhang is 16" all the way around - which is quite large.



Depends on where your located. Here in the PNW the "standard" over hang is 24" , some folks go 30" some stretch-er out to 48". Back east R.I. where I started as a carpenter ways back in the early 70's , 12" at the soffit is standard and no rake / eave / up the sloped part of the roof is the norm.

So 16" overhangs are not what I'd call large , nor are they small. You must be some where in the "big middle" of the country to think 16" is large or standard.


  I should look at your profile to see if you give a  general location .

BTW thats a nice addition / thing to add to your profile that comes up beside your name in a standard post. That solves or helps answer some of the questions or reason way people think they are doing it "like everyone else" in thier area. But different areas of the country have what they "think" is the right way or standard way of doing things.


  Of course they are wrong , as there is no "one way" / standard way/ universal way.











 
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: PEG688 on May 01, 2010, 01:56:59 PM
 Ah, I looked at your profile and  I see your in Maine , so that explains it , divided lites would be a / the "standard" in Maine as would 12" overhangs , so you thinking 16" is large also make sense.

  You should add that Maine thing to your normal profile  under your screen name.

See with added info , your posts make sense to me.

   
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 02:28:58 PM
Well, all I can say is a Victoria's Cottage with an overhang larger than 16" would really start to look funny.  ;)
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: PEG688 on May 01, 2010, 02:34:15 PM
Quote from: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 02:28:58 PM


Well, all I can say is a Victoria's Cottage with an overhang larger than 16" would really start to look funny.  ;)



  I'll bet it's been done.

   But I can clearly see why your neighbor , or who ever it was  that left the note  would think no grids = sleazy. It's a area thing.


   
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 02:59:50 PM



 "I'll bet it's been done."

 

 


The architect's name is Frank Lloyd Wrong.   ;D
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: bmafg on May 01, 2010, 09:13:53 PM
oh well I guess I'm a sleeze....

Last year we spent a bucket load replacing the 15 windows in our house in town with ones without grids. It very much changed the look of the place and we love it.
The biggest change was how much more open the inside felt.

You might try to find an old paper shredder and label the slot on top "suggestions" :)
jim
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: firefox on May 02, 2010, 01:43:02 PM
Just take a toilet seat and attach it to the top of a barrel.
Then paint "suggestions" on the side of the barrel.
Put it next to the mail box so you can use it for junk mail that comes in.

Might as well be practical about this.... :P

Bruce
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: rick91351 on May 02, 2010, 08:18:51 PM
Dang Firefox I like that idea!!! [cool]
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: mountainmomma on May 03, 2010, 02:46:11 AM
Quote from: PEG688 on May 01, 2010, 02:34:15 PM
Quote from: Jeff922 on May 01, 2010, 02:28:58 PM


Well, all I can say is a Victoria's Cottage with an overhang larger than 16" would really start to look funny.  ;)



  I'll bet it's been done.

   But I can clearly see why your neighbor , or who ever it was  that left the note  would think no grids = sleazy. It's a area thing.


   

It's an area thing
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 03, 2010, 06:46:03 AM
The person who wrote the note obviously was trying to make me feel bad/inferior about a decision I made (the windows were already installed).   Self-righteousness like this is usually driven by a sense of insecurity or self-doubt.  Perhaps a contractor's response to a DIYer?  Anyway, if only this person knew the humor generated by his/her attempt to put me down!    :)
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: MaineRhino on May 03, 2010, 07:33:59 AM
I doubt any contractor would do that. The DIY mentality is alive and well in the western mtns/Sugarloaf area. I've lived and worked up there, and it's usually the seasonal idiots who cause the problems.

I suppose it could be an insecure local idiot too.  d*

BTW, I think it looks great!  What will the siding be?
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on May 03, 2010, 09:07:13 AM
Thanks MaineRhino.  I'm a little jaded about contractors because I've dealt with two who have given me a hard time about how I'm doing things.  I very much attribute this to insecurity (both youngish guys):   "who does this guy think he is just doing it himself?"  Oh well, just gotta ignore it.  A few bad apples.  I love the whole area and so many people I've meet are sooo cool.  I've had three people offer me a place to stay or to get a hot shower when needed.  People up there really understand the idea of helping neighbors.

Siding is gonna be cedar shingles - weathered natral patina.  Probably a brightly colored "cottage" trim.  I'm sure a purist will stick his/her nose in the air about my vinyl-clad windows, but I'm not made of money.  I'm doing this myself because, like a lot of people, it's THE ONLY option.  I certainly cannot afford to pay contractors.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: rocking23nf on May 03, 2010, 09:09:47 AM
dont worry about it, if you like it, who cares about anyone else. 
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: OkieJohn2 on May 03, 2010, 10:53:42 AM
You're building a functional living space for now, not faking an antique and you have made some really smart choices.
As far as being jaded on contractors, just watch any episode of "Holmes on Homes" ;D.
Case in point, there is a mechanical contrator here that used to have the reputation for the best in town, but dad retired and son took over, decided to work on the bottom line, ended up loosing most of the long term employees and hired new, inexperienced and cheaper labor.  No longer the respected contractor in town.
When it comes time to paint the trim, might I suggest you invest in some cheap samples of the ugliest colors you can find and do a test.  Dayglo is good, and don't forget chartruese and purple. 
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: wcofield on June 22, 2010, 06:32:29 PM
If it was that easy to do, they would have designed and built their house.  In building and business, stay away from the naysayers.  There is plenty of second guessing of your own to deal with much less even considering an opinion of someone that has nothing invested in your building.

NOTE: Country wisdom has it that opinions are like rear ends (slightly modified language). Everyone has one and everyone thinks all others but theirs stinks. 

Keep working and ignore them.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Bobmarlon on June 24, 2010, 01:14:31 AM
At my work were building a home on a lot where we tore down an existing house.  They neighbor keeps coming by upset that the new house is going to obstruct her view even though the new house is the same height and 6 feet further away.    Not only that the existing house was an eysore from the 70s and was probably going to fall down the hill and crush there boat house if it was left up another year.  People are just mental.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: SardonicSmile on June 26, 2010, 11:52:10 AM
My neighbor tried to tell me I needed to cut my grass the other day.  ::) I wonder if he knows that all I'm EVER doing is bush hogging once every 3 months.

He also brought up that he heard me shooting. His words were "don't worry, I won't call the cops" as if it were illegal that I was shooting on my own property.
Title: Re: dealing with unsolicited criticism
Post by: Jeff922 on June 28, 2010, 08:28:53 AM
Yeah, people fear change and some people respond irrationally when frightened.  I have some really cool neighbors and others who should probably be institutionalized.  Back home, my neighbor stopped mowing part of his yard that is next to mine.  I don't mind.  Not mowing or bush hogging is the best thing for the environment anyway.  I may start doing the same thing.
The people next to the Victoria's we're building are the coolest neighbors ever.  I gave them a phone call after we bought the land. I didn't know these people and wanted to let them know I was going to be building (only about 200 ft from their place).  Having never met me, they told me where the spare key was to their camp and said feel free to use it if needed!  Great people!