You guys seem to be pretty level headed...

[RoxyRocks]

So people on this board seem pretty level headed and I just had to ask what some of you guys would do in our situation.....

We are planning on building a home and we either can two things. We can either take out a loan to build our home or we can stay at my Mom's and pretty much have the house paid for in full by just saving our salaries.

To give a little background my Mom has a very good size home out in the country where we are planning on building only minutes from where we are plannning on building. I am very close to my family and so is my hubby....We would be able to have our own space & we pretty much would have no out of pocket expenses even thou we would give "rent" to my Mom. We own the land(8 acres) outright and could pretty much just build as we go on our paychecks and the savings. It would take alittle longer(year probably) but at the end we wouldnt have a mortage.

I thought this was a pretty good plan but when I was talking a friend of mine she said it was just silly and that it would be better to just take out a loan & I started to think maybe I was crazy :-/

I will say it would be pretty cool for us to be in our mid 20's and early 30's and have a home paid for and ours!

We are planning on doing as much of the work as possible oursevles

[PEG688]

Well you'll find out how well you get along pretty quickly . If it doesn't work out you'll just have more house built when you go get  a loan. So I'd say it's a good idea.

Things to consider respect your parents space and any , what you may think are , "ODD" rules / requests and stay within those rules,  it's her house [highlight]your a visitor[/highlight]  ( sort of , so don't wear out that status ) now as it sounds like you have been out of the nest  so to speak for awhile , your Mom's life was not what it was when you lived at home , change happens to us all , so don't expect stuff you" Used to do"  to still be OK .

The other part you haven't touched on is how you and your husband will deal with this building a house thing , it's full of decision making , the whole process , it can strain any marriage so be prepared for that to also "come up" in the process.

All that being said to have a house free and basically clear , just don't pay your tax's and you'll see what I mean by "basically " part   would be very good.

 G/L PEG

[peter nap]

It depends on how well you get along...and your hubby, with your Mother. It can be trying for everybody involved. If your husband has that good a relationship with your mother, my hats off to him. I hated my father in law and he felt just the same. The last few years before he died, we hardly spoke. I wish now I'd cut him some slack because my son in law and I are headed in the same direction.

Back to your question. I have owned two houses in my life. The first, I had a conventional mortgage. I kept it for 5 years and just lucked into a time when real estate was hot. I sold it and doubled my money.

I used that and some investments I had to pay cash to build the house we're in now. That's been a lifesaver. You will lose some tax credits by not being in debt, but you won't have to make that monthly payment or worry about subprime (mortgages will be a bigger problem in the next few years despite what that idiot Bush says) If you ever lose your job or your husband does, you can't imagine how much  not making that payment means.

Your net worth is instantly higher and if you manage your money properly, you can live much better than others in your tax bracket. If you have children...college comes quickly and it ain't cheap. Ask me how I know.

Anyway....My vote is a qualified..>GO FOR IT WITH MOM!

and good luck!

[Jimmy C.]

I have to say, it is soooo nice to live in a house that you built yourself and be free and clear of a mortgage or any loans.
While I built my place my wife moved in with her mother to live and work near the area we planned to build. (3-1/2 to 4 hours from where we lived at the time.)
I moved into a very small, cheap apartment to stay at my job because of the good money and drove to build site every week-end.
After 6 months my wife and mother-in- law started to not be the best of friends anymore.
Too much togetherness!
So we got my wife a small apartment near her work and I moved in a few months later.
People get used to a certain way of living and having someone at your home all the time sounds good a first , then gets old real fast.
I would tell you to move in with her but only for a short amount of time thenmove into the house yoou are building as soon as it is dried in.

Many people here have used the Owens Corning wall paper for many months at a time.

[RoxyRocks]

I have to say we are very "different" when it comes to our family dynamic we all really really get along...yhea we get on each other nerves but doesnt everone When it comes to hubby him and my Mom and family are very close infact sometimes I think they like him better then me somedays.

We actcully lived with my Mom for about 8 months when we were in transition from moving back from another state, so we have done it before. My Mom is pretty much my bestfriend & her rules are pretty much the same as ours. She is pretty laid back and the only problem I can see arising is her not wanting to take "any" money from us....which I would never live off her!!!!

I almost cant imagin having no montly payments for housing other then taxes we pay sooo much for rent right now I think we would almost be "living the dream!"

[glenn kangiser]

I'd say consider the above and go for it Roxy.  If yu have the chance to do this mortgage free, keep the bank out of it.  I'm sure there must be a law against it somewhere, but worry aboout that when the time comes.  (just kidding there - I hope there isn't one yet).

Just be willing to adjust as needed and have some mortgage free fun.  We'll make you into a poster child.

[tanya]

I say go ahead and live with your mom but be sure you follow her rules and make sure you carry your load around the hosehold for chores.  my daughter lived home again while her husband worked at a job ar awya for a few months.  We got along fine but she already knew the rules and when he was home he didn't squabble much.  I think the hardest part for me was that she expected to still be the little princess I raised her to be and while she lived away i got used to not making dinner if I was happy with a sandwhich and soup or using the computer whenever I felt like it. I love my daughter but she likes her mom to spoil her and when I don't feel like it her feelings can get hurt.  But they all know I am a real bitch at times no kidding and so then the hop to.  Or move out, one thing is for sure once it starts getting tense the building will move along quite quickly.  You can always plan a weekend away with friends now and then or send mom out of town to her friends for a few days too.  Once spring hits you can set up a nice camp and spend some timea t the property.  No point in paying rent when you don't have to.  You have to ask yourself what is more sacrifice putting up with a bit of tense relationship or paying out the rent and utilities?  

[glenn kangiser]

It could also be a possibility of finding s camper or trailer and staying on the jobsite once in a while.

[Okie_Bob]

Roxy, I'd go find me a new friend. She obviouly is not looking out for your best interest. Being your age and mortgage free is a dream come true and you'd be very foolish to pass up the chance.
Your 'friend' wants you to be eyeball deep in debt like she is so you can worry about bill collectors and all that crap.
I say tear up your credit cards, pay for your house as you build it and save, save, save your money!
Okie Bob
PS: It's taken me most of 5 years to build my retirement house by paying as I go. But, we are hopefully going to be finished and moved in for Thanksgiving.

[Jens]

worst case scenario, you live with the folks for a while, and find out it doesn't work, move out, and get a loan.  I definitely urge anyone to not get a mortgage.  like PEG said, respect is the most important, and there are likely to be many odd rules.  Thats the way it was when we lived with my wifes dad at least.  What about getting the well on the land, and getting a caravan to live in?

[RoxyRocks]

I have to say I am glad I came here and got reassureed I knew that this was the best idea the pure idea of NOT having a mortage or even ending up having a very very small loan is something that I just cant pass up & it would just be dumb to not atleast try to go this route.

I have to say I didnt think I could be more excited(& scared ) about starting building

[glenn kangiser]

We all want to see you get a head start.  Keep us posted, please.

[Madroaster]

My vote is for mortgage free if you're in the position to do it.  Anyone can live with some hardship for a while if going without a mortgage is really a possibility for them (especially in such a short time-frame).  My wife and I moved to Korea two years ago so we could pay off student loans and then build mortgage-free.

We return home next summer free and clear and ready to build.  I'm just 30 now, and my wife's less than that.  We feel it is very cool to have our own place, paid for and debt-free, by this point in our lives.  And you only have to live with the in-laws...we had to move around the world!  Go for it.

[RoxyRocks]

Mortgage free is sounding even better not to mention Mom's home cooking

[MountainDon]

Your friend must be a loan officer! Or just the all too typical American with a I want it now, so I'll buy it "on time" attitude.  There's also those fools who think they're okay going with mortgages because they can deduct the interest paid (on a primary residence). It's still interest.

[highlight]Anytime you can keep from paying any interest, it is in your own best interest to do so!![/highlight]

[RoxyRocks]

She's not a loan officer BUT she does work in accounting ; She did bring up the interset thing & as much as I hate to say it I think she is somewhat jealous that we are able to do this. I dont like to play into that but she is jealous that we are willing to build our own home & wait for what we really want

[tjm73]

More power to you.

If you can keep the banks out of it, you'll save a ton in the long run.

Do it if you can.  

[Sassy]

In many parts of the world, it is the norm to live with several generations of family.  Years ago in the US you had grandparents, parents & kids living under one roof.  

I lived on my parents' property in a mobile home my grandmother lived in while she was alive.  I was a single mom with 2 young sons & had gone back to school to get my nursing degree - I was 35 at the time.  It worked out well.

My mom would babysit at times, my kids got to know their grandparents & were around aunts, uncles & cousins.  I cleaned their house from top to bottom (4000 sq ft) every week & did all the yard work.  I worked part time also.  

I could have never gone back to college & gotten my degree if it hadn't been for their generosity & willingness to help me out.  My mom died of heart problems several years ago but I will always have those wonderful memories.  

[RoxyRocks]

Sassy- I am almost done with a degree in nursing too I defintly agree with you about the memories & family. My 15 year old sister was killed in a car accident a few months ago & I will say the one thing I turly feel lucky about is that our family is so close that we do have those memories.

[Sassy]

RoxyRocks - I'm sorry about your sister - that would be hard.  Good memories really help   .  And congratulations on pursuing your nursing degree.  You won't be sorry - there are so many fields a nurse can go into - if one area
gets too stressful or boring, there are lots more avenues.  Plus we need nurses really badly & the pay ain't nuthin to sneeze at either  8-) .

John's wife is a nurse, Judy (she & her husband built a strawbale house in Arizona) is a nurse;  Jonesy, from Australia - his wife is a nurse, PEG's sister is also one.  There are some others I'm forgetting right now.  

Good profession!  

[hobbiest]

She's not a loan officer BUT she does work in accounting ; She did bring up the interset thing & as much as I hate to say it I think she is somewhat jealous that we are able to do this. I dont like to play into that but she is jealous that we are willing to build our own home & wait for what we really want

Most people think it isn't possible.  Some kind of pipe dream.  Maybe we can be happy that everyone doesn't look through the same pipe?  Read the book Mortgage Free by Rob Roy, also, How to Survive Without a Salary.  People also think that homesteading, by which I mean that your job is the farm, and the farm provides all your food, and or bartering material, is impossible today.  I just don't understand what seems so impossible, when it is only in the last 100 years that it has been so different.  It seems to me that it is all the same kind of people who excommunicated Gallileo for claiming that the Earth revolved around the sun.  The real secret that none want to tell you, is that they will tell you that it is not possible to dissuade you, that they may never have to feel jealous of someone who strives not to keep up with the Jones.  As soon as we can, we will do our part to prove them all wrong, and bully to anybody else with the guts and desire!

[RoxyRocks]

I cant agree with you more [highlight]hobbiest[/highlight] it tends to sort of piss me off because I did grow up around people who did live off the land and were "simple" & I am not saying that in a bad way When we moved to Denver I almost started to get wrapped in all the "crap" that comes with the city and I am excited to get out after a lonnng 3 1/2 years!

I will have to say one of my fav things is when I am watching HGTV or looking online and I find a couple that is "building" their home but for fact they are watching a contractor build their 400,000 home and my decide to paint an accent wall if time "allows" it!

I cant say enough how excited I am to find a group of people that REALLY do build their own homes!!!

[Jens]

Hot rodding and construction have that in common, they say, "when so and so decided to build a house," or insert, "their next hot rod,"  as a builder of both, it makes me sick.  I also love (hint of sarcasm) it when I am reading a magazine, and they talk about green building practices.  The only thing they talk about doing, is using recycled materials and FSC lumber.  But the houses can still be built like crap, as long as those are used.  Whilt the use of more sustainable products is important, a house that is built to last 200 years will be more ecologically friendly, even if you used teak for the framing, elephant tusks for the ballistraude, and a bald eagles foot for a can opener (can you smell it?  The sarcasm...).  The house we live in was built 200 years ago, and has no SIP's, cork flooring, or recycled plastic bags anywhere (except the ones from the grocery store we use for bundling up the recyclable plastics), and in this man's opinion, it is very eco-friendly.  I think that if the energy counter-culture really wants something to fight for, they should try educating people on the over production, distribution, and dependence on plastics, and concrete.  We have a rule in our family, that if you buy a gift for one of us, no plastic stuff please.  And then ofcourse there is the old one of, if you walk through a store and see something that says, "buy me for Jens", then make that the gift for birthday or Christmas, but don't just buy something because you feel you should...just come and spend time, eat food, drink wine, and be merry!  Ok...off the box now, you can have your thread back!

[Jens]

BTW...love the title of this thread.  We sure have you fooled, don't we.

[peter nap]

We sure have you fooled, don't we

I was thinking the same thing!