So I get a call from a VP on the High School saying my daughter was in a fight and is being suspended.
So what happened is another girl and my daughter had an exchange of words and my daughter admits she said a few things to grate the girl. The girl says we are going to fight after class, daughter says I am to tired I am not going to fight you. After class the girl goes after my daughter, not once but 3 times. My daughter after the third attack pushes her off, she falls taking with her the girls t-shirt. My daughter gets back up runs to a teacher, because she does not want to fight. My daughter tells me she didn't want to get in trouble that why she ran. Ok fair enough, BUT my daughter was issued a 3 day suspension. The same as the girl who threw the first blow and went for my daughter three times. I point out, look my daughter per your words did not fight back but pushed her off and got a teacher. Yes, but our rules is everyone involved gets an equal suspension...So...I plan to tell the principal when he calls back, that if he t does not commute her suspension by a day that I will encourage my children in the future to fight back and beat the crude out of any student that lays a hand on them, seeing the punishment is equal. My daughter can fight and is rather good at it.
So any one have any thoughts on the matter?
pull yer kid out of the school... homeschool them
demand that your child not be suspended at all... if they did not throw a punch or throw the first punch then they do not deserve to be suspened..
Here in SC there is a school board that meets one night a week to discuss school matters... go there... tell the principal that you want to have the matter heard before the school board... Go over the principal's head on it....
I am waiting for the Principal to call back, he is at a meeting........
If I do not get this resolved then the next step in the district office.
Also, they send her home for three days with no school work to do so she does not fall behind....
I wish I could Home school her. I am doing that with my youngest. She is 17 and has learning issues and is on on IEP. She does not want to be home schooled, he rather drop out.
I am just ranting anyways.....I see public schools as state sponsored day care.
Stink, I'd be raising a ruckus if it were me.... but one question... what is IED? I'm wondering if it is something I should know and just forgot?
I know what an IED is, but she is on a IEP...
I will pm you with a bit more info.
Oops... typo! ;D
it made me giggle.
Thats a pretty common policy in schools nowadays. Don't try to figure out what happened just punnish everyone involved. I'd raise hell if I where you.
I did, but by the time I work the chain the 3 days will be over. I hate state sponsored day care.
The reason your kid didn't get any homework to bring home is that they don't let kids who are suspended submit the work they miss!!! They take the loss onthier grades. If I were you I would make an appointment after school withthe teacher involved, the principle, the district supervisor and playground supervisor. get them alltogether and talk it all out, take a long long time make sure you are in no hurry to leave make your position known you want your daughters suspension reversed!!! This may seem like a simple little school thing but what it really is... is a mark on your daughters record, as a violent individual a very serious thing in this day and age even for school children (some summer camps wont even take kids with such small things ontheir record). At age 17 I am positive she cannot afford to take those three days of ZEROS either. Fight it and if they don't reverse it take her out of school and homeschool the rest of the year immediately, and file a lawsuit !!! It is the only way you can be absolutely sure she will be able to graduate next year. As a mom who jsut had my youngst son graduate last year I know what it feels like to get a kid through school almost all the way to graduation only to have them risk losing that important moment because they are missing a credit or some other problem fell through the cracks of the school system. at age 17 this is not some school playground issue this is your daughters future!!! The school board and superintendent are just as responsible as she is, and as you are, for her educational success, make that very very clear!!! If they don't reverse the suspension call the state board of education too.
tanya
a fight is not a big deal in the sense that it will go on a record... at least not as far as I can tell... Heck when I was in middle school and highschool I would get in more than one fight a year....
I got suspended a few times... and it was not an issue when I applied for college. I was not seen as a violent offender or anything...
I got suspended one time for in the principals words beating the kid up too badly...I did not start the fight... but I gave the guy a good beating so the principal said I had to be suspended... Said that I did not have to hit the guy like 10 times.... I think that the other kids parents were furious when junior came home and he looked like he got hit by a truck..and so that was why I got suspended..
I only ever started a couple fights in my life... and one was when a guy slapped around my sister... I definately picked a fight with that clown....hehe...I wonder if he is able to chew solid foods without pain.
I would not worry about a girl who got into one fight in school...She tried to avoid fighting and if she only gets into one or two altercations the whole time she is in school I would not believe anyone could think she was violent or a trouble maker
Stink
I think I would at least find out all the ramifications for your daughter, and then maybe do what Tanya said.
I do know what a IEP is, any chance that they are related. We had to push pretty hard about my daughter's and didn't make any friends in the school.
Mike
College is not on the table for her. Also we really think she has hit her ceiling on learning.
To work the chain of appeals will take me longer then the suspension. She has never been suspended before, so now she can claim she has had this experience. I told the principal that if anyone touches her in a threatening way again she is going to beat the snot out of them. He was not at all happy with that. I said the punishment is the same so she might as well defend her self. Funny thing is when I was telling him that 3 days to to excessive he said we just need to agree to disagree, so when he got upset about my statement about her defending herself, I told him we just need to agree to disagree.
Stinkerbell!!! Whats in a name? He's probably afraid you are going to beat the snot out of him :)
Mike
Ya know Mike, I have a back hoe, no shallow graves for me!
Yes I am just joking glenn, don't be afraid.
i like the way that you think though....
I am call that a problem solver... hehe
No fear here, Stink. I've ridden in an airplane when I was flying. [crz]
Stink -- I think now is the time to encourage her to skip graduation and educate her on the evils of the system. Sit her down and have her read all of my comments on this forum. d*
This is a crappy deal, and I am sorry you are having to go through this. Do you have the financial resources to have an attorney accompany you to the office when you have your meeting? That would certainly get their attention. I would demand that she be able to make up any work that she missed, and probably ask for tutoring as well. There may be free legal counseling available depending on where you live.
Public schools are awful. I've got one daughter who is in the gifted program and I still think she is barely getting educated sometimes. I have another daughter in regular classes, and those are a joke. We have to work with her 10 hours a week to compensate. I figure we are not too far behind the amount of time we would be spending if she was home schooled.
If I am able to, I will home school my grandkids.
-f-
sad to say my mother in law and my wife are teachers...and they both agree that we need to home school our kids...
that does not say much for public education... :-\
If I had extra money for an attorney she would be going to private school to being with.
It needs to be let go and she learns a lesson on rules. How nowadays rules are made and practice with little to no common sense.
What about filing a complaint with the police against the other girl for battery. I'm pretty sure the school doesn't want (the publicity of) a police investigation. The police are likely to say it's a school matter but you can press them or the local City/County/DA.
I don't like this alternative very much, but all the others set your daughter and / or you up to be the bad guy in the future.
Nah, now if it continues I will.
I got the official letter of suspension, via certified mail. She was suspended for inciting a fight. I wish these people would get their story straight.
Benevolence, I was a teacher in a private school, and I still think kids need to be homeschooled! :) And I'm a product of the public schools myself, so I reckon that grants me the authority to say that most of the education I received there is worthless (there were some notable exceptions... my biology teacher, band teac, her, and trig/calc teacher, who were all more like parents than the typical teachers.)
Wish that things were different, Stink, but since they're not how are you going to make them different?
As far as homeschooling goes, making a blanket statement that kids should be home schooled is nonsensical to me.
From our exposure to assorted parents and parenting styles that are all over the map, that is a recipe for disaster in many cases. I do feel that if one feels the need and if one able, then by all means go ahead.
Hey Mountain Don,
I do need to add my 37 cents here (ya know the cost of inflation on my initial 2 cents lol).
I think that Public schools in many ways are nonsensical. Let me give you my reasons. Then we can discuss!
Public schools teach in a format that might be good for some students, but not all. There is no flexibility in their teaching. Instructions are directed from the feds, through the state, then to the local district. Now you might get lucky and have a teacher who can teach in at least 3 different ways. But that is luck and is rare. Some people are just not wired to learn in the singular structure that Public Schools offer.
With Home Schooling a parent does have the ability to teach in a way that is best for their child. They can pick the curriculum that is better suited for their child's learning. In public schools it is a one size fits all.
:)
i agree that public school try to lump all kids into one category...I was sent home as a little kid because I do not sit well for long periods of time.... still do not... Hyper or high metabolism or whatever... Schools answer to me having too much energy... send him home... Then one teacher I had tried to get my parents to make me take pills....Thankfully my parents told them a nice 4 letter "F" word ;)
There is more than one way to get a job done...And with kids there are lots of ways to motivate them and to educate them... any parent that takes a little time to look at their kid should be able to find a solution that is best for them and the child..
With special needs kids it is going to take more effort and you have to have a better plan of action but it is not impossible.
I remember working for AT&T and there were 1800 employees in the building...We were referred to by our work ID #'s...We felt like numbers and not people to the company...It is how kids are being treated in many schools today.
What would make me really happy as I get older is if my wife and I can live near or meet a couple other couples like us sort of...and we could take turns educating the kids... to shake things up for the kids... I would teach their kids and they could teach mine... Of course they would have to measure up... but something like that might be fun... for us and the kids
Stink and Peter.
My point was simply that there are parents who are not doing a proper job as a parent as it is. I'm not certain those parents could ever give their children a well rounded education. Not everyone can teach their own children, or any children. There are children who would be worse served by being home schooled. :o IMO.
That does not mean that public schools are better. I never even stated anything about whether or not I felt public schools were doing a good job. I simply feel that some children may be better served by a public school than their parents.
I think that is a very fair and reasonable statement, MountainDon.
As for public schools, by and large they suck. And that I feel has quite a lot to do with teacher unions, too large of a school bureaucracy, and not enough "checks" built into the system.
Well, perhaps more parents would be capable of teaching their kids if THEY had been home schooled in the first place! Not only mentally capable, but emotionally as well. Now, I know that there are many other factors at play, but it all boils down to dysfunctional families, and sending kids away from home at a young age to daycare and and public school only perpetuates and worsens the problem.
Quote from: MountainDon on April 28, 2008, 03:41:53 PM
Stink and Peter.
My point was simply that there are parents who are not doing a proper job as a parent as it is. I'm not certain those parents could ever give their children a well rounded education. Not everyone can teach their own children, or any children. There are children who would be worse served by being home schooled. :o IMO.
That does not mean that public schools are better. I never even stated anything about whether or not I felt public schools were doing a good job. I simply feel that some children may be better served by a public school than their parents.
Don, I tend to agree with you. For my kids, home school is the only option on the table at this point. But there are folks who should never be homeschooling parents. Maybe the system is broken, but there are kids who are worse served by their parents, too. When I was teaching at a private school, one of the grandmas who was raising her granddaughter asked me to tutor her in math. Well, later in the year, this woman pulled the girl out of school entirely with the assertion that she was going to homeschool this 12-year-old. I continued to tutor the girl and try to teach her basic math skills, and when I'd ask her what they were doing at home as far as homeschool was going, she'd say, "Well, nothing really. Sometimes we do stuff, but mostly not." She lived with her grandma and great-grandma in one of the most dysfunctional families I'd ever known (her dad sometimes lived with them too, but was gone a lot for his job...) All the adults in the house were co-dependent and had that "victim" mentality that totally cripples you... they were teaching this girl to be a victim, too. However, when the means and the desire is there, I think teaching kids at home is the best option.
Right, there are a number of things that have to fall into place for home schooling to work. If any one of them is missing the results may be less than desired. Thanks for recognizing that. There is not a single task, job, whatever, that there is a blanket solution for. That was/is my main point. As was pointed out by Stink, the one size fits all philosophy, is where most public education falls short.
I also think that there are a number of teachers who mean well and try hard, but the bureaucracy behind them hinders theor ability. There are also teachers who should be in a different line of work.
Except for more reading and rote math problems, I learned all my high school stuff by second grade. The teacher in our three room school pushed us to do all we could and I was doing 9th grade math in second grade. I was bored out of my tree the rest of the time. (Sassy asked me to mention that she was the teacher who beat my hands with a ruler and taught me the evils of government, but she was a good teacher --except for the drinks at lunch time--that made her meaner).
The only thing that was of benefit after that was vocational classes. Should be more earlier.
The PE etc. only functioned to make us good candidates to be cannon fodder by the time we were out of HS and the education they gave us made us dumb enough.
I agree that there are parents too stupid to home school their kids though. They are typical products of public schools.