ready to give up

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 13, 2009, 03:46:04 PM

OK, here's the deal. Waited 11 months for our house up north to sell so we could buy a place here. Really loved the first place, but the folks wouldn't negotiate on the price and wouldn't attempt to fix the road going into their place, so we backed off because they just threatened their realtor that they'd take it off the market every time he suggested they meet us halfway. (Yes, they lost an opportunity to sell their place over a silly matter of about $3K.) So, then we find another place that is far better and the kids have their hearts set on it, and we make an offer. Been on the market for 400+ days. Found out a few minutes ago that they got another offer on it today too, and now they want us to basically bring our best offer and they'll give it to the highest bidder. The other person making an offer saw the house yesterday after it had been power washed and cleaned out (there were dead bugs and rodents) so I'm sure that their initial offer has got to be better than ours. I don't want to play the bidding war game. I just wanted a place I could move into when our lease is up next month. DH got mad when he found out that their realtor is basically encouraging them to not deal with us and instead have us rewrite an offer, so he's not going to offer more, so there goes that house. I am so sick of looking, so sick of getting my hopes up only to have them come crashing down. I am getting truly depressed about the whole process and am jaded to the point where I figure from the beginning that nothing is going to go right. I don't like any of the other places I've looked at, but really want to get out of this house ASAP, too.

That's it... just going to buy some dumpy land somewhere and pitch a tent on it.

muldoon · January 13, 2009, 04:20:59 PM

QuoteBeen on the market for 400+ days. Found out a few minutes ago that they got another offer on it today too, and now they want us to basically bring our best offer and they'll give it to the highest bidder. The other person making an offer saw the house yesterday after it had been power washed and cleaned out (there were dead bugs and rodents) so I'm sure that their initial offer has got to be better than ours.

That sounds like a load of BS to me. If you already made an offer tell them it stands. The worse they can do is sell to someone else, (and that assumes the mysterious angel buyer is even real) - the worst thing you can do is play along with the drama and get sucked into another rabbit hole. Tell them to pound sand.

Don't let them push you around. You have to play to win girl. Now go to the closest mirror and make a gameface. You know what a gameface is right? grit your teeth, squint your eyebrows, growl, then yell. Do it a few times, then make that call.

January 13, 2009, 05:06:32 PM

I've discovered that about the time you're ready to give up something good happens. Hang in there.

MaineRhino · January 13, 2009, 08:10:48 PM

ScottA is correct. We found our slice of heaven shortly after we gave up and stopped looking. It found us, kinda.

harry51 · January 13, 2009, 08:25:33 PM

HT, I know it's easier said than done, but try to remain objective. The sellers will always want to maximize what they get, and will take any opportunity to do so, like trying to suck you into a bidding war because another offer came along (you're told.....) at an opportune time. Hang tough. Our experience has been that you get the best deals when you really don't care if you get the property or not. Wanting it bad before it's bought might show on you and put you in a poor bargaining position. Remember your realtor will likely get some percentage of what you end up paying, so his interests are at least somewhat conflicted. There's more ground out there, and you have a roof over your head at the moment, so take your time and stretch your money is my best advice, FWIW.

G/L, Harry

January 14, 2009, 10:41:13 AM

Homegrown, don't give up. If the property you made an offer on doesn't pan out, there will be another one. There may or may not be another offer on the property. Some real estate companies and people will say there is an offer when there isn't one. If they think you really love the place they might say that in hopes you will up the offer and move to complete the deal quickly. Has the offer you put on the property been rejected or countered? Your agent maybe hoping you will offer more and he/she can get a bigger split of the commission. What was the time frame you placed on your offer?
I live by If It Is Meant To Happen, It Will Happen. I know you are wanting to get into a home, but hold your ground. If this place doesn't work out, there is probably another place out there that is better.
Try not to play their games.

Squirl · January 14, 2009, 10:51:27 AM

I third the idea that this sounds like a load of ****. Even if it isn't, don't assume that the bid is more than yours. Even if it is, maybe they don't have financing or won't get it. If you up your bid and they bid more, their deal could fall through and now the sellers know how high you are willing to go.

Bishopknight · January 15, 2009, 09:39:12 AM

This may sound silly but does a baby give up learning how to crawl?

I had some setbacks looking for my land but I kept trying new things. Eventually putting an ad on craigslist of what I wanted was how the person who sold me their land found it.

Btw, I call BS too, there are 50 sellers to every buyer out there right now. If this were poker, it would be like holding a jack high full house.

Its tough when you get emotionally attached to a house you want, but you have to think about why its been on the market for 400 days. That would tell me there are serious underlying problems with the house. Has a prior house inspection been done? Can you get access to the report? Have you done one yourself?

If the realtors not lying and it goes to someone else, it just wasn't meant to be then.

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 15, 2009, 05:49:26 PM

They only bid $500 less than the asking price. I'd be willing to bet that they don't have a clue about the burst pipes and about how the dam washed away and there is no pond on the property in spite of what the listing says. Anyway, I'm over it. Just frustrated because DH was being wishy-washy since we moved back about whether or not we would build our own place. That was the original plan, and then he kept flaking out because he was worried about living in a travel trailer with 3 small kids. He kept telling me to look at existing houses instead of land, so I've wasted 11 months doing that only for him to come to the conclusion that he really wants land and wants to build, so now I have to start over looking and dragging him out to check it out once it's passed my inspection.

It's just life, I guess.

January 16, 2009, 02:23:15 AM

I think the realtor had someone already sitting on the fence and drug them back into it when it looked like you were going to get it cheaper. Dirty pool. That happened to me once. A neighbor bought it to keep me from getting it.

I'd say that there are a lot more fish in the sea and you didn't really want to try to fix someone elses problems anyway did you? hmm.

Wouldn't you rather see Lyon out there slaving away with a saw and hammer.... your own personal slave to do your bidding and build you the little house of your dreams... not someone elses poor designs... look at it this way.... you can drive him crazy with change orders....

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 16, 2009, 11:03:35 AM

Quote from: glenn kangiser on January 16, 2009, 02:23:15 AM
I think the realtor had someone already sitting on the fence and drug them back into it when it looked like you were going to get it cheaper. Dirty pool. That happened to me once. A neighbor bought it to keep me from getting it.

I'd say that there are a lot more fish in the sea and you didn't really want to try to fix someone elses problems anyway did you? hmm.

Wouldn't you rather see Lyon out there slaving away with a saw and hammer.... your own personal slave to do your bidding and build you the little house of your dreams... not someone elses poor designs... look at it this way.... you can drive him crazy with change orders....

I'll let him deal with the saw but am not letting him touch a hammer! (When sawing stuff, I would be wise to follow the measure twice, cut once rule, but seldom do and consequently waste lumber.) Lyon, poor fella, can't drive a nail straight to save his life. I think he is afraid of missing and hitting the wood and damaging it, and it is probably because his dad never let him do stuff like that when he was a kid. We have a way of working stuff like that out very well...I gave him a gift card for his birthday with specific instructions to buy a nail gun

. And what usually happens when we're working on stuff together,is that we each have our "specialties". In our kitchen remodel in WI, I did the sanding, all the tiling, etc. He did the demolition, the rebuilding cabinets, and the painting and finishing, as well as wiring and plumbing the gas line. The ceiling we did together, and he did the tin ceiling tiles. I designed the whole thing. We built the built-in together in a weekend. It all works out. And I feed him well when he's working. The benefit of living back here is that we have friends and relatives we can call in to help now and then.

river place · January 16, 2009, 08:32:00 PM

The similar thing happen to us. We've been riding motorcycles and cars in SW AR and really enjoyed the scenery. We live in Dallas TX so it's a great place to get away from the traffic and flat lands.

In early 2007 we decided to start looking for property in the Mena AR area and looked for a local agent to represent us (buyers agent). He'd send us info on possible places based on the info we'd provided. Made a couple of trips us to look at places but nothing really interested us enough. One weekdn he said he has a great place for us to look at so we made the trip up. It was 10 acres with nice rolling terrain, a stream with pond, and an elavated site to build on. Plus it was right at the end of a paved road. We decided to make an offer.

Got a call from our agent that they had another offer and he believed they the selling agent was not dealing fairly. We were very disappointed but backed out with no counter offer. I don't play games on things like this. We loved the property and it was emotional to let it go.

We were about to give up when our agent contacted us said he had two nice properties to consider. One was on the Ouachita river but would add another 45 minutes to our drive from DFW. We debated looking at it and decided if we had time we would. Looked at the first property and liked it as it was 15 acres, backed onto the forest, had all utilities on site and a stream running through the front of the property. We almost decided not to go look at the river property.

At the last minute went to the river property and it was fantastic. It already had power on the property and while the land is elavated above the river there was an old road way cut that allowed access to the river. our main concern was that the way to get to the property was an easement across a field. The seller worked with the original land owner and he said he would deed the easement to the county so they would put in a gravel road. We thought yeah right. Well the property was deeded and so we decided to buy. We now have a shed with well, septic system, a 30 x 40 pole barn and travel trailer on the property. Hope to start a small house/cabin the end of this year. The county did put the road in last fall! So keep looking and the change in economy could work in your favor.

pic of river and view of hills

http://www.vagabondage.smugmug.com/gallery/3741184_5qpDT#215011715_Z75sc-S-LB

glenn kangiser · January 17, 2009, 12:06:51 AM

Nice property, river place. Thanks for sharing.

cabinfever · January 19, 2009, 04:51:27 PM

I agree that sometimes a property finds you. I was actively looking for 2 years and couldn't find anything. A year after I gave up, I run across my dream property - that we're closing on this week - one evening while bored and surfing the real estate listings.

It's frustrating, but - my 2 cents here - you can't get emotionally invested in the realtor's (or owner's) responses. They are what they are, and you can't change it by letting yourself get irritated or depressed or anything else. The realtor represents the seller, and they (and the seller) only benefit from driving up the price. None of it is personal; the hard truth is you HAVE to play the game if you want to win.

My experience, anyway.

January 19, 2009, 08:10:20 PM

Nice place, River Place. Are you familiar with Haw Creek or Big Cedar (across the Oklahoma line)? Have realatives there with about 80 acres... pretty area.

river place · January 20, 2009, 11:17:01 AM

Homegrown, Know that it well as it's one of the reasons that drove us to pick the area. We ride the Talimena drive as often as possible. When looking for property we looked in that area of OK also but then decided on the extra 45 minute drive for the river.

If we don't take Interstate 30 or US70 most of the way to our place we either take 259 from Broken Bow to the Talimena drive or come over from Atoka on 43 past lake Sardis to the Talimena drive. The Kiamichi and Ouachita Mountain area is a place most people don't know about.

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 20, 2009, 12:57:42 PM

DH and I spent our honeymoon in that part of the state. I still remember stopping for lunch at a cafe in Talehena, and the waitress was telling us not to wait until you could afford to have kids because you could never afford them. It is a beautiful area; wish there was work for DH down there and we would be there instead of where we are.

river place · January 20, 2009, 01:12:39 PM

Yeah work in that area is a problem, so for us right now it's a get away until we retire or I'm old enough to apply for a job as greeter at the Mena WalMart.

Keep us up to date on how your property search is going

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 21, 2009, 01:05:17 PM

Will do. Am really frustrated with real estate business in general right now, though. I wish that I could just speak directly with the owners because all the go-betweens make the entire process a headache. I can work stuff out with nearly anyone. However, when you get a couple of realtors involved and they stand to lose out if you get the cheaper property, it is amazing how slowly they can drag their feet!!!

river place · January 21, 2009, 03:23:25 PM

Could you go to an agency and contract with an agent to be a "Buyers Agent"? Some states allow this and they work for you through a signed contract. Buyers agents get paid by splitting the commision with the sellers agent. Might be worth looking into.

We did this when looking for our place in AR and it was very helpful.

January 22, 2009, 04:43:14 PM

We have a buyer's agent...maybe that's the problem

river place · January 22, 2009, 10:38:02 PM

if they aren't working for you then get a new one... Each local agent is different but we had good luck with United Country.

chrislrob · January 25, 2009, 03:59:20 PM

As a real estate professional, I don't want to encourage you to go around agents, but...

It is undoubtedly true that some agents are more helpful to deals than others. It is also true that sometimes the best thing that can happen is that the buyers and sellers talk directly.

In such cases, the *main* thing that agents worry about is the principals trying to cut them out of their commission on the "what did the agent really do anyway?" theory.

Good way to have a lien placed on the property.

Otherwise, while the agents probably won't be happy about it, there is likely nothing legally stopping you from talking to the sellers directly.

You could write them a letter, saying something like, "Hi, I know we're both represented by agents, but I thought it might help us to talk in person..."

You could also "happen" to drive by while the owners are there...

Finding the right land to buy ain't beanbag and it'd be a shame to let a good one get away.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and put up a post complaining that land in my price range isn't even worth listing by a broker since the commission would be so small!

Chris

P.S. Remember this: At a 5% commission, every $10,000 more you pay is worth only $500.00 to the seller's agent. And he'll split that with YOUR agent. There is little incentive for them to risk doable deals for that. On the other hand, $10,000 is a very good reason for the sellers themselves to haggle.

MountainDon · January 25, 2009, 04:10:23 PM

Good point raised in that P.S.

Homegrown Tomatoes · January 26, 2009, 08:20:35 PM

Oh, it gets even better than before... this past weekend, we decided to go back and re-offer on the first house we offered on. Just happens that they got another offer on Sunday night, and it was not as good as ours, but the people didn't ask that they fix the road per an estimate they'd gotten from a local dozer company for $1750. Their realtor tried really hard to explain to them again and again that they didn't have to pay out of pocket now, that it would be taken at closing, and even with those repair costs, our offer was still better. Of course, they took the other offer. Our realtor told their realtor that she hoped that their furniture was smashed to kindling when the moving truck tried to haul it out that driveway. Their realtor told our realtor that they were the most difficult people he'd ever had to work with. So, about a month left before we're homeless... no house in our sights, and can't get the realtor with the land listing we like to give us straight answers on stuff. I kindly recommended our realtor inform him that he can take a free computer literacy class at the local library, but I don't think she did it. Whole thing is very frustrating, and here we are iced in, so I'm not going hunting for a few days at the very least.