Tragedy on my ranch....

[NM_Shooter]

One of the owners of our ranch passed away recently.  I last saw him a week ago; he had been complaining to me and to others that he was feeling poorly and suspected altitude sickness.  His cabin is above 10,000 and he lives most of the year at close to sea level.  I think he was 65 years old or so.  I'll call him Tom.

Tom loved our ranch, and everything to do with it.  He was frequently up there for long periods of time by himself, and when he was once asked if he was concerned about being alone, he responded "If it is my time to go, I can think of no better place."

We missed Tom at our annual owner's meeting this past week.  During the meeting, his wife called me to find out if we had seen him.  She had not heard from him in 4 or 5 days.  It is a challenge to get communication while up there.  We have one small part of our ranch that is on a ridge that we get cell phone signal that drifts in and out.

We became alarmed, and after the meeting, the organization president (Rob), his wife, and I packed up and made the 4 hour drive up to our ranch.  Rob got permission to cut through an Indian reservation which saves time, and I went the long way in to see if his car was stranded on our 12 mile rock and mud "driveway".

I arrived at Tom's cabin at about 6pm, and saw that his truck and ATV were parked out front. I beeped, hollered for him, and started to walk to his cabin, which is a 14x18 tuff shed built for living.  I peeked in the door and didn't see him; the setting sun was coming in through a back window making it difficult to see.  I walked around the side of his cabin to look in a side window when I found Tom.  It appeared that he had collapsed on his way to a small portable privy that he had outside.  It was apparent that he had been there for quite awhile.  Luckily the animals had not disturbed his remains.

I learned that day, that even if you think you may be looking for a body, you may not be emotionally prepared to find one.

It was a shock to me.  I was particularly surprised by his position.  He was completely prone.  Left arm bent and trapped under his belly, right arm stretched out behind him.  Glasses crushed under his face.  Looked like he fell from way up high and didn't budge after he dropped.  His feet struck me as the most odd. They were laid out straight behind him, toes pointed like he was in a dive.  I'll spare you the details of his exposed flesh.  As I mentioned, it was apparent that he had been there awhile and that he was deceased.

Rob and his wife had beaten me there by 15 minutes, and I found them on the ridge talking to the sheriff's office on the phone.  They were deploying a deputy, and it was going to take awhile.  I made a phone call to Tom's wife to tell her what happened.  Two ranch hands from the reservation were going to bring the sheriff in, and Rob and wife stayed on the high road to bring them down to the cabin.  I went down to sit and pray with Tom until his escort down arrived.  We had gotten lucky with animals not disturbing and I didn't want to take any additional chances. 

The Sheriff arrived an hour or so later and suspecting that there was likely not a crime scene and nothing to secure, and went to the ridge to radio.  He also told us that he would not be moving the body, and that we may need to bring Tom down ourselves.  He came back from the ridge and told us that the office of the medical investigator wanted to do a field visit.  I was surprised that she showed up only 90 minutes later.  It was now dark, late and cold.  She interviewed, took pictures, did some field work with the body, and pronounced him ready to travel.

She had brought a body bag with her, and we worked to get Tom secured.  The ranch hands from next door had a full sized pickup truck and they were awesome in their support of our situation.  Funny how neighbors who really don't know one another will still do the most amazing things in times of need.

We got Tom down the hill and loaded in a hearse for the trip to ABQ for his autopsy. 

The next day, we attended to his cabin and personal belongings in his camp.  We loaded up his trailer, truck, cleaned his cabin of perishables, removed personal items, and stored materials safely.  It should be good for years if need be.  Luckily there were three of us there and we were able to get his stuff down off the ranch.  It is stored on my property now and I need to figure out a way to get it to his family. 

Sorry about the long story.  At the time, I wasn't bothered much by this, but it has been nagging me the last couple of days.

Tom was a great guy.  I never saw him mad, or say a disparaging word about anybody.  Makes me sad that he wasn't able to enjoy the ranch for a long time. 

He reinforced to me that I should drink the good wine now, spend more time with my loved ones (and less time working), and to work harder to try and be in a state of grace. 

Thanks for reading.   

[rick91351]

Thanks for posting.

Death always seems to bore a hole in ones soul.  The amount we care for someone sort of gauges the size of the hole. 

I for one am very impressed the caring everyone showed in this...

Rick

[John Raabe]

Thanks for that most human story... and thanks from "Tom" and his family for all the help and respect you and the other folks showed in such an event.

We're all just human beans. Faced with stark mortality the importance of life becomes clearer.

[hpinson]

I think of this fate sometimes when I'm at my own place alone, and try to make peace with it.  A lot of my rural neighbors live alone, isolated, and are happy to do so, and may be discovered one day by their friends or neighbors just like this. It has to be better than fading away in some nursing home or intubated in some hospital bed.

It brings to my mind Ed Abbey's essay Dead Man at Grandview Point: "It would be unforgivably presumptuous to pretend to speak for the dead man in these matters... [but]... I am inclined to congratulate the dead man on his choice of jumping off place.  He had good taste. He had good luck-- I envy him the manner of his going. To die in the open, on rock under sun, on the brink of the unknown, far from the insolent interference of leech and priest. Before this desert vastness opening like a window into eternity-- that surely was an overwhelming stroke of rare good luck."

At least that's how I like to think of it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[mgramann]

Sad to read about this NM.  I've no doubt that Tom appreciates your caring heart and kind actions.

I'm sorry for you loss, and know that you will find comfort in Him.

[NM_Shooter]

Thank you for the kind words.  I still feel uneasy, I think it is because I still have his stuff with me and I have things to do before I can consider my part done. 

I'm still really impressed with the neighbor ranch hands.  There are 8 to 10 full time hired hands that live in a bunkhouse year round.  These guys were great.  They patiently waited, even though it was really late, jumped in when they were needed, and guided us in and out through their ranch.  Even though it was late and they were beat when we got down off the mountain they asked me if I wanted to come in for a beer.  Next time up I am bringing them two cases,  and I am writing a letter of thanks to the foreman and ranch manager.

I heard from the OMI today.  Oddly, they released his body, but they don't have a cause of death yet. I thought that was strange.   

[flyingvan]

Grief is the price we pay for love, and I think it's a bargain.  We do a horrible job of expressing love in our culture, but I'm glad to see you're pretty good at expressing your grief.

[Pine Cone]

Thanks for sharing your story.

May God bless Tom, and bless you, and bless all the others that helped out in a time of need.

I'm at the age where death of friends and family is becoming more common, and can't help but make some comparisons and think about the various ways people I know have died.

The worst are the slow declines, no real hope for a better outcome, just a lot of waiting for the inevitable.  Cancers, Alzheimer's, comas.  Hard on everyone. 


Others died quickly.  A loud breath, and then no more.  A brief illness, and a surprise turn for the worse.


I would rather die quickly in a place I love like out my cabin rather than any urban hospital or care home. 


I am sorry for your loss.  I don't think it is ever easy for those left behind.   

Raise a glass,
and say a toast,
remember old friends,
and drink to lives lived well.

[MountainDon]

Sorry to hear about 'Tom', Frank. From his position it sure seems like he fell over and that was it. Not even time to use SPOT.  When my ticket gets punched I'd prefer that over an extended hospital/hospice stay. I would hope to not shock a family member or friend with the find though.

[Don_P]

You did good, as did those that came and helped. In those times I am always impressed by the kindness and respect shown by my fellow man. You spared her in a very dark hour, and that is a blessing. For myself, I've always hoped to have only enough time to make out the headlight on that train. 

[UK4X4]

A moving story - and happens all so often - looks like it was swift and final with no sufferring-

One on the reasons we bought our ridiculusly large luxy trailer was due to the death of a friend

42- late diagnosis of cancer due to him not visiting a doctor

Diagnosis to death by doctor in 30 days - he only managed one phone call to his girlfreind in Venezuela before he passed.

The wife decided money in the bank does not help you in the afterlife- enjoy it while your healthy !


best wishes to you all and many more cabin projects to come !

[roadtripray]

When I first became a pastor, I wasn't sure how I would handle ministering to people who were dying or their families.  But as time went on I learned to cherish sharing these intimate moments with families.  The dying process is very intimate, as are the families dealing with the death in the aftermath.  It's when you see the beauty of celebrating a life lived and the love that others have for one another -- even, as in your case, the love of the ranch hands who were strangers.

I'm not a pastor (at least not vocationally at the moment) but I still feel a very close bond when I run across former parishioners I walked with through the grieving process.  Take the time you need to feel whatever feelings you have right now.

Peace,
Ray

[OlJarhead]

Thanks for sharing.  Very moving story and while you are thankful for the ranch hands I'd like to say that you too deserve thanks for your part.  It was always nice to heard about the good deeds of others and you played no small part in this.

Thank you for the kind effort on your own part to take care of Tom and see that his family was notified and looked after in that most intimate way.  They will be grateful for the time you spent sitting with him.

[NM_Shooter]

Thank you for the kind words.

Turns out that he perished from a ruptured right coronary artery, ruptured MI (?), and I think the OMI told me cardiac tempana (sp?) where the sack around the heart fills with fluid.  In this case, I think that fluid was blood. 

I drove down to Hobbs, NM on Tuesday night with Tom's things, spent the night, and continued to Midland TX in the morning for his 10am service.  I felt odd driving his truck and trailer to his funeral, and tried to park away from the church a bit. 

The service was really well attended.  He was retired, and spent his life in thirds... one third doing charity work.  He worked with meals on wheels and multiple nutrition related charities.  One third on instruction, as he was a flight instructor and he enjoyed teaching young people to fly and to improve their ratings, and one third at the ranch. 

It was apparent that the kindness that he shared with others was being reflected during his service. 

After the service, his family invited me to have lunch with them before they drove me to the airport.  It was a nice lunch, and I got to visit with many of them.  I was also able to provide details in private to a couple of members who needed extra information. 

I guess the hard part is done.  I'm trying to figure out if this is going to decrease my enthusiasm for spending time up there.  I think I'll give it a year before I make any decisions.  My daughter says that she still loves it there; I suspect that will play a substantial role in our long term arrangement with the property. 

Thanks again,

Frank

[Ernest T. Bass]

Your story is inspiring, Frank.. I can't imagine what it must have been like to find Tom and go through that whole ordeal, and I often dread the surreal possibility that something like that could happen to me one day. I really appreciate you sharing your intimate thoughts and feelings throughout all of this. This life is weird, but I guess in a beautiful way when you scratch past the surface.

[Carla_M]

Tom loved our ranch -------- he was once asked if he was concerned about being alone, he responded "If it is my time to go, I can think of no better place."

I'm trying to figure out if this is going to decrease my enthusiasm for spending time up there.

I think Tom had the right idea, the correct attitude. If you love a particular place, better to die there than in some ICU hooked up to machines that are just keeping the body technically alive, IMO.

I do a lot of back country 4x4 traveling and hiking isolated areas by myself. We are admonished not to do so because it is not safe. It's just my opinion but I would not let something like this make me change my favorite haunts and favorite things to do. There are few things I enjoy more than roaming unexplored areas or revisiting favorite out of the way places. Coming across a dead person can be  a shock to the system. I do hope that does not negatively influence your decision about you and your ranch. Finding a body can happen anywhere, more likely in a populated area than the boondocks, IMO.

Peace of mind and a long happy life to you and your family.

[flyingvan]

[embed=425,349]Turns out that he perished from a ruptured right coronary artery, ruptured MI (?), and I think the OMI told me cardiac tempana (sp?) where the sack around the heart fills with fluid.  In this case, I think that fluid was blood.
[/embed]

   I know for many people---males especially----part of the grieving process includes technical aspects of what happened.... I don't want to sound cold or robotic in what this sounds like.  This is a tiny minor footnote in his life story... 
   Ruptured RCA would, as you suspect, lead to pericardio tamponade (sack around the heart fills with fluid and compresses the heart).  The MI part, myocardial infarction, is tissue death of the heart muscle (due to the rupture.  If it's any consolation, had he collapsed in front of a bunch of doctors at the Mayo clinic from this, the end result would have been the same---gone before he hit the ground.  His final gift to friends and family was saving the stress and expense and false hope of professional pre-hospital intervention, which often does great things but would have been futile in this case.