Is the MSM selling divorce?

[ScottA]

I've noticed an increase in stories like this one http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178?gt1=43001 over the last couple of years. Seems like they are actualy trying to talk people into getting divorced.

[Pox Eclipse]

Haven't you heard?  Marriage is doomed anyway, since they gays started doing it.

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Scott, I agree, seems like there are a lot of articles/advice columns that see divorce as a prime marital problem solver.  People have some wacked idea that marriage is supposed to be all honeymoon... no work and all play or something.  I am bombarded constantly in my email inbox with crap that tells me that single moms can go back to college and get a degree at the government's (read:taxpayers') expense, and it seems like that is what the purpose of them is too... to entice people to divorce perhaps by the allure of an education that will somehow make it feasible to be a single mom?? 

[rwanders]

I was married for almost 8 years---divorced for 5 and have been married for 32 years and still counting. My divorce, even though amicable, was still painful and I will always view it as a personal failure. The article is very interesting but it reminds me of my own efforts to somehow rationalize that feeling of failure, to make it go away. I have been able to accept the fact that I did indeed fail but it doesn't make me a "failure"----just another flawed human being and so, I was able to finally forgive myself.

[Homegrown Tomatoes]

Rwanders, I'm glad that you have been able to forgive yourself and move on with life... I think that a lot of people don't.  My dad left when I was 5, and to this day, I don't think my mom has ever gotten over it.... and it is about thirty years after the fact.  Somehow, she sees it as her failure to make him happy and her failure as a wife.  In all these years, she's never so much as dated.  Dad, on the other hand, married again not long after and has stayed married now for a long time.  I think even though he has had a fairly good marriage with my stepmom, he still has a lot of scars from the divorce. 

[Squirl]

I see a different side to the coin a lot.  I see people especially with children who's relationship has devolved into nothing but physical and emotional abuse.  My personal belief is that in these situations it is better for the children if the parents would divorce.  I believe that leaving a bad relationship sets the better example.  I have seen children of these types of relationships grow up into the same situation.  They get into abusive relationships and believe they should stay in them because that's what they know of relationships.  Or even worse they become abusers themselves.  Children pickup a lot by example.


On another note the people in this article seem like whinny overpaid spoiled yuppies. 

[waggin]

The MSM is selling the MSM.  Any tabloid journalistic excuse for a story will be used.  Even if it's not really a story, they can make it one!  Real news on the MSM was cancelled a long time ago. 

Every situation and couple is different.  Some people just don't belong together, and no amount of "work" will make things right.  In that case, the proper thing to do is to divorce.  On the other hand, some people are too lazy or selfish to be part of a partnership and do the work that could help them succeed in marriage.  Too many people get married for the wrong reasons and don't understand what it involves.  I have tons of respect for the people who go through pre-marriage counseling; my bet is those are the people far more likely to stay together.  Those who marry young & quickly, often due to family or institutional pressure, are the ones who have the toughest road ahead.  Bottom line is, your marriage/relationship/partnership/union is what you make of it.  You alone are responsible for what you put into it. 

I see a different side to the coin a lot.  I see people especially with children who's relationship has devolved into nothing but physical and emotional abuse.  My personal belief is that in these situations it is better for the children if the parents would divorce.  I believe that leaving a bad relationship sets the better example.  I have seen children of these types of relationships grow up into the same situation.  They get into abusive relationships and believe they should stay in them because that's what they know of relationships.  Or even worse they become abusers themselves.  Children pickup a lot by example.

Sadly, too many people do stay together "for the children."  Often, non-independent, ideology-based counseling will push staying with an abuser.  The children (and others) suffer.

But then again, we can look to our elected representatives and other self-appointed "moral leaders" for their marital and relationship guidance.  Ok, maybe not.  (FYI, that's a non-partisan comment.)

And last, but not least:

Haven't you heard?  Marriage is doomed anyway, since they gays started doing it.

Exactly!  That's why I haven't married my girlfriend; I'm afraid her sister's marriage to her partner would destroy the fabric of any marriage we might have.  Could even disrupt the space-time continuum. 

[ScottA]

I agree with the views that some couple where not meant to be. The point I wanted to make was they seem to be saying "why bother" when it comes to getting or staying married. It's more of this selfish me me me attitude thats so popular these days. IMO people are really missing the point when it comes to marrige. It's a mutualy benificial partnership and requires a comitment. Seems the trend nowadays is to quit the first time you don't get your way or have to sacrifice in some way. With that way of thinking marrige is pointless I guess. One thing to note is that in many states just living together will get you married in a few months or a year weather you like it or not. It's called common law.