Isn't this also the time-tested recipe for building long-lasting relationships?
This intriguing graphic was found in this article on trust models by Paul English
"She had never been able to tolerate dishonesty, which she thought threatened the very heart of relationships between people. If you could not count on other people to mean what they said, or to do what they said they would do, then life could become utterly unpredictable. The fact that we could trust one another made it possible to undertake the simple tasks of life. Everything was based on trust, even day-to-day things like crossing the road - which required trust that the drivers of cars would be paying attention - to buying food from a roadside vendor, whom you trusted not to poison you. It was a lesson that we learned as children, when our parents threw us up into the sky and thrilled us by letting us drop into their waiting arms. We trusted those arms to be there, and they were."
From "The Full Cupboard of Life", by Alexander McCall Smith, p. 62
We are living in a time of war. War teaches us to hate our enemy. War always increases distrust and our new state of perpetual war promises to continue to sacrifice trust in the name of security (fear). It is surely the erosion of this trust that threatens the civility of life more than the actuarial threat of a terrorist act.
Trust is the mild mannered little brother of love. It is a freely given and received type of honor that forms the foundation of all our greater emotions and feelings.
Many people have an interest in moving to a smaller town or country location and then building or remodeling a house to live in. This is often based on a desire to simplify a life that has grown too complex. We probably also hope to make new trusting relationships.
Designing and building ones own house usually starts as an exercise in self-sufficiency - we imagine ourselves fashioning our own shelter with our own two hands. Only later, as the complexity of the project grows, do we come to understand all the help we will need - and that much of this help comes from a complex web of interactions based on trust.
When building, you get to know the community and the community gets to know you through the people you meet, hire and buy materials from.
This is why the process of building your own house can be a life changing experience. Many of us on the other side of such a home building project look back on it as one of the most engaging things we have ever done. You never know everything you need to make a decision on what to do next. The uncertainly can be crippling for some. In the end you have to trust the people around you.
When building a house, it is through this "network of trust" where you will spend most of your money. That in itself is exciting as most of us never go through money faster. Your money is also providing income, encouraging creativity and making friends with those who are working on the project with you. You are growing, the project is growing and you are helping others to grow. Is this not the definition of win-win?
If you are "trust-worthy", and the people you hire are also trustworthy, then you can build using the unspoken contracts that still exists in many smaller communities. This can often replace many of the competitively bid hard contracts that come down from the world of lawyers.
The best you can hope for from Lawyer Land is the feeling of winning or beating out the other guy. This is a bitter and sad substitute for knitting yourself into your new community and making those three of four new lifetime friends that always seem to come out of a house building project.
Isn't this also the time-tested recipe for building long-lasting relationships?
This intriguing graphic was found in this article on trust models by Paul English